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i know everything he did was bad. i understand everything the doctors and police tell me but what i feel is so much stronger. i was strong before i met him, i built myself up. now hes gone and im weak, i cant live without him. hes right, i have nothing without him. he broke my phone and laptop and i can barely use them (detail removed by moderator), im spiralling back into the depression i left but he always always there. yes at the time i wanted to break up so why do i want to go back now? why do i love someone who did that to me? why is he fine and im struggling? how is it ok? i dont undertsand why he want contact me. i feel so physically ill everyday without him. I want to talk to him but everyone keeps telling me its stupid and it will harm my case. (detail removed by moderator) when i begged him for space before he would never leave. he wouldnt let me leave the house or break up. he would never respect when i told him no, so whats changed now? (detail removed by moderator) im obsessing over someone who hurt me so much again and again and it sounds so stupid and childish. i feel so low without him i know i need to change my focus but i cant. he was with me evreyday for the past (detail removed by moderator) in a tiny room. why is it so easy for him to let go of me? why cant i do the same?
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How are you feeling today?
The pull to contact them can be overwhelming some days but it can totally disappear the next. You’re still very much in the trauma bond cycle by sounds of it, just like a smoker craves a cigarette you’re craving the man. But you say you feel weak – HE made you feel that way. Don’t forget that. They love to choose strong women who can put up with their antics. Can you reach out for support as it is really tough alone. Even if you do contact him any high will be short lived, he won’t change but you can xx
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