This topic contains 6 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  HunkyDory 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #97575

    Ok so it’s said I’ve done the hardest bit..spent seem like it, this is the hardest bit..
    All the trauma from my daughter being killed, trauma from the abuse, now I feel I’ve replaced one prison for another..
    I’m in an area I don’t know, away from my daughter’s, grandchildren, mom.and sister.
    All I want is to go home, not to him back to an area I’ve known all my life, it’s like a safety blanket to me..
    Yet I try and explain I’m getting more trauma being away.. my family just get angry with me, so then I get angry with them..
    I’m trapped again, but not because of abuse but because what’s in my brain..
    I’ve got to call up about bills but I can’t if you know what I mean…
    I’ve just had enough, 1 person can only take so much..

  • #97581

    You said it Woolly; one person can only take as much. That’s why it would be good for your to acknowledge this fact fully. You have just moved to a new location. What a huge step darling 😌 in any circumstances it is, even without escaping abuse.
    Let your whole system, nervous system and brain cool down, can you see it from a biological perceptive perhaps? Let your entire body settle down and stabilize, give it a week making an effort to shut down your thoughts, building determination to aim and reach one goal; keeping away from him, no matter where you are right now. You can’t expect to bake the cake and eat it too right now. Take it slow! Very slow.
    Practice gratefulness honey. Right now what are you grateful for? Your task is to think of three per day, which can seem a lot but make it your absolute priority, it will ease your fear, panic and thoughts. It’ll help recenter yourself into the present, appreciating and redirecting your thoughts to the present moment instead of the future. Thinking of the future can be anxiety inducing, thinking of the past can be depressing.

    Just keep steady darling, if it’s the only thing you do, it will be the most rewarding, keep steady, trust all else will fall into place.
    Keep strong, you can do this.
    Keep posting honey, you’re doing great you know 💕

  • #97585

    I can’t say it any better……just keep steady darling ♥️

  • #97588
     lover of no contact 

    And Keep posting Woolley. You’ve done amazing. All you have to do is get through today without going back. These days may feel like you’re on a rollercoaster of feelings. That’s normal. Letting go can be hard. How do you get through it… just by taking it One Day at a Time. You will soon start to feel better. Just ride through these feelings of the unknown and missing the familiar.

    “Change is a different best” my friend used to say💜

  • #97590

    One step at a time Woolly as you feel ready and able, bills can wait.

    Can anyone come and stay with you to help while you adjust?

    There’s a saftey where you are now – away from him and he has no idea where you are – do you feel some relief from knowing and feeling this?

    Give yourself some time, you feel like a fish out of water but this will change, especially the more and more you make it feel like home. Invite your family and friends over.

    Once you start to feel more settled and spring is here you will be able to venture out and start finding out what is on offer in your area, make friends, go to some groups, get involved, get to know your surroundings – get the life you deserve.

    Try and ride it out and pull in as much support as you can. You are free from abuse now and this takes time to adjust to, there’s something comforting in what we know isn’t there even when it’s abusive; and understandably when you feel shaken, angst or low the past can enter the present. Be kind to yourself and look after you, start slowly, you’ve made the jump and by doing so have told yourself I deserve an abuse free life, with peace and calm x

  • #97601

    I had a mantra I used to say to myself. Make one that suits you. I used to repeat I am safe, he cannot harm me anymore. I am strong and I will get stronger.
    You could try I am safe with my fur babies. I’m getting stronger and help is at the end of the phone’ I can do this. I deserve to be happy and this phase shall pass x
    I know this is a very scary time but try to ride it out. It’s like breaking a drug addiction. Cold turkey for a while. Curl up and wait for the storm to pass, which it will x

  • #97602

    Hey Woolly take your time you’ve made a huge step towards your new life it’s going to feel scary and it will take time to settle. We’re all rooting for you, sending you a big hug xx

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