I was asked to stay

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

for a cup of tea by this lovely 82 year old lady (can’t say who but unknown to my husband) who insisted I met her cousin who worked as a probation officer years ago. She found out I was a victim of domestic abuse/violence and her cousin sat listening to me and my stories.
The old lady kept on saying leave, leave, I am so worried about your safety, surely you can’t still be living with him, I worry so much about you.
I was given lots of compliments about my work and she said she will highly recommend me.
She asked if my husband was jealous of me, if he thought I was more intelligent than him and more educated too.
I told her one thing I suddenly realised : if someone could support me at home while I proceed with this divorce, I would definitely reach my goal and be free, I just feel drowned in all the stress and usual habits. Literally drowning. So I stay, I can’t think clearly, I am highly confused.

Then the male role model from our local domestic abuse service organisation turned up and asked me if I was ok, I made a sign with my hand to say no. I had had a terrible weekend. I showed him an abusive text from one of my children and he said he would talk about it with that child. He also said he was shocked by the way my sons spoke to me the last time he came round. So now someone who specialises in abuse has witnessed it with his own ears, the damage is deep, yet my children can be lovely too, most of the time.

He asked me if I was being supported by someone and I told him the dv lady who looks after me has not rang for a long time, I had written her a text which I lost from my screen before being able to send it so she won’t know what happened.

Now after sleeping for only 3 hours last night I am exhausted and will be going to bed shortly. I wish I had someone to look after me…Just to be there during the bad times to come. I do fear him.

He has once again started the cycle, with the honeymoon period. He obviously read my latest text and probably threatened me over the last few days with empty threats he doesn’t carry out, so he can humiliate me, control me and keep me here.

I told my neighbour what went on recently, she is shocked. Thank God she comes to see me. She phones and comes regularly.

[Ayanna]

Hugs, Bridget. The stress and the constant abuse paralyze you. Make sure you get out as much as you can and interact as much as much as you can with these lovely people.
What would happen if you left your children? They are old enough to get on by themselves. Somehow, you need to get out of that situation. I hope you find the solution soon. You deserve a good life. x*x

[Tuppance]

Oh Bridget that is awful for you to still feel, even with Oder children ( sorry I don’t know how old they are ) that you cannot escape. You seem to have some lovely people around you and your male role model sounds supportive. I know what you mean about having someone to be physically there supporting you though – I feel like that too. Thinking of you and don’t forget that you have people in your life that genuinely care – turn to them when you need it. They would be happy to support you from what you say. Xx

[Author]

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