I was supposed to die

[Ayanna]

He tried to kill me, but I was saved. Since then I was not meant to be on this earth anymore. I escaped death, but death wanted to have me since he was made aware of me.
Maybe there is no escape from death once death was invited into our lives?
My bad health will now limit my life expectations instead of him killing me.
And I had hoped that I would have a good life if I escaped from the abuse….

[Falling Skys]

Ayanna you are a survivor and a fighter though you don’t feel it at the moment.

Any one of us could get run over by a bus tomorrow life is fickle. But what ever time we have left it will be better than we had before.

Enjoy it to the full.

FS xx

[Ayanna]

Thank you. Yes, I will make the most of it. It will just be hard, because all these illnesses make me weak and bed bound on a regular basis.

[Falling Skys]

Bless you, lets hope things will improve once you have the test results.

xx

[Serenity]

Hi Ayanna,

I can sympathise. I nearly died a few months after having my eldest child. The reason I got so close to death is because I couldn’t leave the house and was eventually so ill I couldn’t lift my head and was delirious, and he left me there to worsen by the day. In his sick mind, I think he felt powerful. I think he felt exhilerated by watching me getting so weak and ill. Maybe he wanted me to die, and this way it wouldn’t even need to be by his own hand. All he needed to do was not call for help. I was saved by my sister having a gut feeling and coming over to check on me.

Sometimes, when at my lowest, I have thought that it would have been best if I had died then, because so much after this has been abuse, pain, suffering. He has caused so much destruction, including that of my health, like you. My illness ( which I am certain was caused by the the abuse) has limited me in such a way over the last few years that I have felt like an elderly person in a younger person’s body.

I share the same chronic illness as you, and I believe that it is our amagdyla being on danger alert the whole time, being in flight mode and adrenaline working overtime, that poisons our body. In the past few years, I have been in tears ecause I have felt that my ex stole my life energy, my peace, my love of life, and I could never get back to my previous state of health.

I’ve still got a long way to go physically, but I’ve pulled out all the stops to get the therapies I need. I have changed my diet to an alkaline diet ( acidic foods worsen our illness). Walking has had absolutely amazing effects. I also chant to myself a lot ‘I am safe’ as if to try to get my adrenaline to slow down by ridding myself of the constant sense of fear that became a way of life for me.

I was hours from death, but for some reason was saved just in time. You were saved too. There is a reason for us to still be here, Ayanna. I am inclined to say that one of those reasons is for us to simply enjoy our lives. We can achieve things and do things for others, but I have a very strong voice within me that says that a very important part of my reason for being here is to enjoy the beauty and peace of life. I think you deserve this too. X

[Serenity]

Overcoming Fibromyalgia Symptoms with Alkaline Diet Foods

[Ayanna]

Thank you Serenity. If it was only the fibromyalgia. That is not the only illness I have. And now I have something new and much more serious. 🙁

[Serenity]

As FS says, you are a fighter.

X*x

[Author]

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