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As my title says I did, I went on my own for a local meet up at a coffee shop…. I can’t believe I did it 😁 walked in and introduced myself and had a lovely hour chatting over coffee.
Best bit…. I could do this as I got out of my abusive relationship, I didn’t have to ask his permission, I didn’t feel as anxious as I would have if I had come home to my husband.
I could stay as long as I wanted
Coming home to mine and kids calm home
Meeting new people with no expectationsWhen I think back to this time last year (I was a mess), I have got much stronger
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Hi Hereforhelp
Good for you ringing the changes and feeling you made connections and have moved so far forward in your recovery and having that peace.
I do have concerns about the ‘MeetUp’ social media thing, if thats what you used? Purely because for a lot of women arranging a meet up with complete strangers online is really risky.
IDK, it may not have been one of those, and I hope you have made connections with some that maybe good friends. Was it a female meet up?
warmest wishes
ts
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My concern is the same as any online activity, that if you have an abuser in your life, online is a playground, and you can be tracked through local online meeting arrangements. Its a risk for many women, but I am very glad it worked out for you, and I hope this will be the start of some good connections. ts
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It’s so good to read how far you have come, this just goes to show that one small step each day can soon add up to miles of distance between you and your abuser.
This is your future one step at a time; a new social venture, new friends, maybe some female friends to go on a weekend away with, this is just the beginning 🙂
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Hi WTH, I hope you are ok?
Yes it was a step towards my future, something which has had nothing to do with him 😁 so it wasn’t ruined, I didn’t have to do anything sexual to go out, I didn’t have the anxiety of his mood and I wasn’t afraid to be me as I am now. I am enough even though I have a long road ahead, my children and I will be alright and is alright that we are not ok somedays…. I couldn’t have said that a year ago
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After my weekend I love this answer @hereforhelp how incredable it mustve felt. Xxxx
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That sounds great Hereforhelp. I am so pleased for you. It took strength.
I have been advised to look at these sort of things, but haven’t plucked up the courage yet.
It would be nice to have a network of local friends (I have long distance friends).
I am encouraged by your experience! Keep us updated. -
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Stronglife, how are you? .. I have been on some more meet ups, including a party! I had a lovely fun evening, dancing, chatting and one or 2 drinks 😁 then home alone into my pj’s and snuggled down. I have made a couple of friends, I go when I want to, i am already looking forward to the next meet ❤️
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Hi HereforHelp,
The new women we become are stronger because of what we went through. We never fully recover but we can live a great life in Recovery.
It’s so lovely to read your transformation as I remember your first posts on here and how much you were struggling to leave… and now you are soaring 😁
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Hi WTH… I remember and your support has been and still is so helpful ❤️
I saw my parents today and my mum commented on how well I look now 😊 I am stronger now, still have wobbles and will need support (which I am so grateful to have) but I am working on myself and far more mentally present for my children as when my husband was here I was too mentally exhausted to be truly present with my children.
How are you? ❤️ HFH
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Hereforhelp – in one of your posts you said this time last year you were a mess – that’s pretty much where I am. I’m still living with the abuser as my exit plan involves my own home being restored/renovated before I’m able to move. One of the most difficult things is that I know he has a affairs behind my back but I can’t say anything otherwise he’ll kick me out. Sometimes though it comes out in little ways, like (detail removed by Moderator) he told me that he had changed his working shift times and they are now exactly the same as (detail removed by Moderator).
I said, “(detail removed by Moderator)” He totally kicked off and said that I was always suspicious I’ve started gaslighting me. He’s now stone walling me. The thing is, it does seem like I’m being suspicious, because I am and I also have good reason to be, he’s a complete womaniser. But it looks like I’m the one in the wrong for being suspicious, whereas he’s the one who’s done something very bad with having affairs, and is getting off scot-free because I can’t say anything.
Any advice please, hereforhelp or anyone, for how to deal with this crazy-making situation and how to stay sane until I can get out? x
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I know this is months old but I was looking for positive experiences and this is just what I wanted to read. Thanks for posting ♥️
It’s good to hear that from finding things so very difficult, to feeling a mess to now feeling great and life is better. It’s empowering I’m sure it will help others too or has already.
I’m really aware how as things are bad for me again having improved for sometime before now the difference abuse has to how available we are for our children.
Today I was a mess, I could barely speak to my children and the anxiety I had was through the roof. The kids see me shaking. But I want to feel free and this has given me hope
Thank you x
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