15th February 2023 at 10:05 pm #155522AhinaiBaiParticipant
I had to tell someone that may understand.
My relationship ended a while ago. But today I had my interview with the Police. I know it’s a long way from being over, but I’m choosing to see this as a positive step.
Wish me luck?
16th February 2023 at 12:48 am #155529HereforhelpParticipant
It is a positive step, it’s a step you chose to help you, validate the abuse, it can be empowering going to the police and saying your truth. There are mixed experiences with the police, I would advise that you ask for DA trained officers in all your dealings with the police (apologies if you already have this in place, I do not know you circumstances).
Well done ❤️ be proud of you for speaking out
17th February 2023 at 1:25 pm #155570Twisted SisterParticipant
I see that as a positive step also, and I hope you came away with that experience from your interview.
It can be one of the hardest steps to take because its a step toward consequences for his behaviour, and that shows how far your thought process has come to get to this point.
Glad you felt you could come here to share that and know you would be understood.
I sincerely hope that you get the outcome you need.
17th February 2023 at 7:55 pm #155577TwixParticipant
This has been such a huge brave step for you! Being held accountable is sometimes the only way for them to recognise the behaviour is wrong & give you that knowledge that what you’ve experienced isn’t right or ok to endure. Take strength from this brave step & keep looking to the future x
15th March 2023 at 12:22 pm #156354Hopingforabetter2023Participant
I went to the police too recently!
With support from my friends I called 101 and they sent an officer out to take me to the station.
I was there 4 hrs. I found it upsetting but cathartic. To be heard and believed and get my truth out.
I am struggling with people minimising his behaviour and wondering how he is and if he hates me for going to the police. I shouldn’t care but I still do.
I know it was the right thing for me to do or I would have had him back again and he really isn’t safe around me or my kids or our joint son.
I just don’t know if all the reading in the world will make me understand him.
Why me? Why pick me to abuse if he hadn’t done it to anyone before? Was it because I was pregnant and he thought that’s it I’ve got her now and can’t leave?
He would say no wonder all my exs left me and he would find someone else to have a family with and do it properly when he would threaten to leave.
He would call me names, shout and say I’m lazy etc and smash things.
He grabbed me by the head when I was asleep in bed one early morning. He threatened arson, to take our son and report me (before he was even born) and threatened me with a knife whilst pregnant.
Once I’d had our son he grabbed my arm and when I broke free he went for my throat with our tiny son in my arms.
I congratulate you on going to the police! It’s not easy to recognise the abuse and to seek help.
I hope you get the result you want and or deserve with them.
I’m struggling with not having control over the police, social services etc and landlord is selling so have the prospect of being homeless too.
My IDVA said I’m high risk but has been great when I’ve called when I’m struggling.
If you ever want to message me please do.
Good luck and keep moving forward even when you think you can’t
15th March 2023 at 5:44 pm #156362TwixParticipant
Well done Hopingforabetter2023 you’ve been so brave to speak up & I understand that feeling of having everything out of your control, it’s gut wrenching & you doubt yourself constantly but be reassured you did the right thing. Let us know how things progress xx
3rd February 2024 at 3:57 pm #165828Tired@soulParticipant
Hi all, I also went to the police for something that happened sexually (detail removed by Moderator) thing is I keep questioning myself did I do the right thing? I’ve got 3 children 2 who are young adults and I had to tell them that their father had been arrested for rape they didn’t take it to well as they love their dad and I understand that. I’m so scared now that’s when he’s released he’s going to do whatever he can to turn my kids against me.
The thing is he’s lives with a family member of mine and she rang me when he got arrested and said I was a vile disgusting person and wants nothing more to do with me. I’m completely broken and don’t know if I did the right thing. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated
3rd February 2024 at 5:53 pm #165829HereforhelpParticipant
Tured@soul, I am so sorry you went through this, SA is so damaging…Do you have some support in place? Yes I believe you did the right thing… I educated my 2 teenagers on what is DA, gaslighting ..all of it! As they had been raised in an abusive environment they of course picked up on their fathers mood changes, violence against anyone who dare call him out etc… the police have our home covered as we are vulnerable to my ex husband…
The family member who has fallen for your ex’s BS ..that must be very hard for you, especially as you deserve/need support. Do you have anyone else who can support you?
I think you are very strong and honest and in my opinion, as hard as it is, it is best to be honest with children who have been raised within.an abusive environment as of course they pick up which is why I believe it to be so important to educate them otherwise they will think it is the norm… power to you..
Keep posting ❤️
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