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It will be before he starts to get nasty with this new women? When I first started seeing him it wernt every night but then it crept up. Surely he must still have all this anger inside over how he were with me and the kids? He’s got to have as he’s gone straight into another relationship and not dealt with it x
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Yes you’re right betterdays. Try not to think about what he is upto. Whatever it is it will be ugly and dysfunctional. I put a rubber band on my wrist and every time my mind wandered to thoughts of him, I pinged it. Just a sharp reminder to my brain to change my thinking. Every time he jumps into your head, ping it and immediately think of what you can do for yourself today to make things good for you x
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Good idea with the rubber band, KIP.
Better Days, who knows how long it will be before his mask falls with your ex and this woman. With mine, I would say it was about a month.
It occurred to me today that the reason a lot of women find it hard to get over their ex being so abusive is, apart from the trauma invoked, the feeling that we should have made it work, that time with them or having got children somehow binds us to them and makes us their property forever, so we can’t move forwards and heal as individuals.
Our abusers certainly brainwash us into thinking that we are their property. They think we are: that is why they think they can treat us as they like, have affairs and abuse and still come back, ignore iur needs and force their own upon us.
But we are individuals. In a healthy relationship, we would never have been made to feel that we weren’t individuals with our own rights.
But we are! So ultimately, we can move on and be happy!
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Thanks for that reminder of the elastic band around the wrist KIP, i have heard of that before its very effective. Dear Betterdays, I think at the moment he and this woman are very much in the honeymoon stage, I dont think much abuse will have come up yet. Maybe when they are both drinking there will be an altercation, one of them will take offence at something. You will find out i’m sure. If he is not releasing his anger on this woman I think he is either walking on cloud nine so not living in reality, drinking so much he can barely function or bullying someone else, maybe work colleague etc. Soon it will come crashing down. BDays, i think it will help you to be prepared, he is going to come knocking soon or make some form of contact with you. Do you know how to deal with that when it does happen? He & this woman are not going to last its just a bit of fun.X*X
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