I’d be grateful for help

[Twitcher]

Evening ladies,

I’m hopeful that someone can help me with this please? I’m in the process of divorcing and my soon to be ex has told me more than once this week that he still won’t leave the home even when we’re divorced if the house hasn’t been sold. The house isn’t even up for sale yet as I’m waiting to see what settlement I may get. This is scaring me so much, has anyone ever heard anything like this, he has somewhere to go even now but he’s so spiteful he won’t. I’m feeling so deflated, why won’t he leave, will I ever be free from him? Any advice from you inspiring, courageous women would be very appreciated. Much love to you all x*x

[Camel]

I guess he’s exercising his legal right to live in the house he part-owns? If you’re having a legal division of assets as part of the divorce, your lawyer can advise.

[Twitcher]

Hi Camel

Thanks for your advice, it seems that he’s not going to make this easy on me, still living under the same roof is incredibly hard. I will see what my solicitor advises. Take care lovely x*x

[Camel]

You will get your freedom eventually but if you’re having to wait until the divorce is finalised and then maybe the house sold – being realistic it could be months. Ask your lawyer about the practicalities of you moving out. If this is an option you should consider it as you’ll be starting the process of moving on. X

[Broadbodiedchaser]

The financial settlement should be finalised before you obtain your decree nisi so as part of that a decision will be reached over housing etc. Your solicitor should halt the final few stages of the divorce until this is all sorted out.

[tiredofitall]

I started divorce proceedings and put the house up for sale at the same time. The house sale process completed after (detail removed by Moderator). The divorce isn’t finalised yet. So neither are quick I’m afraid. He insisted on living together till the house sale and he had a legal right so there was nothing I could do. We agreed to split the proceeds 50/50 so if you can reach an agreement on how to split the proceeds, that might help move things forward.
He argued all the time with me but in the end he didn’t actually do anything to stop things though he threatened it all the time.
Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

So many women including myself are put under constant pressure with an abuser causing non stop distress. The insidious nature of covert abuse has been damaging to me and it’s taken so long to really turn a corner with the ongoing anxiety and constantly being on red alert etc.
I’m looking at the malignant dynamic and unless you have experienced this it’s difficult to see the intense impact.

I think if you have agreed on the financials in the Consent Order AND that is being written up or is in place then you don’t have to worry about moving out. The house may take a while to sell and he may want to just live there, but if it’s in the Consent Order that the house go on the market that may help and possibly some further wording for example that he may live there for up to 6 months and then you may live there up to 6 months.

I’m not a lawyer but it makes sense that you would not be expected to live with a toxic husband, plus you should be entitled to share the house, just not together?

These are only ideas and in my long struggle with my Ex sometimes things workout but often I will be evolving some solution and keep pushing through.

All the best

[Author]

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