Idk if i’m looking too deep into things, but is this abuse?

[starfly]

Firstly I wanna start by saying my partner failed to disclose to me that he is on the (detail removed by Moderator) for (number removed by Moderator) years until after (timeframe removed by Moderator) of us being together, when a friend of mine found an article about him online. This was just after I moved in with him so I had nowhere to go, I am estranged from my family so I can’t just leave.

Since then our relationship slowly started being arguments, and started turning sour. I tried breaking up with him a few times and he just won’t let me leave the house and restricts me from leaving the house. Even if I want to go for a walk on my own, he won’t let me go on my own and will follow me out the door and starts asking millions of questions, asking do I even love him if I don’t want him on the walk with me. I thought I finally left for good just (timeframe removed by Moderator) after I knew about him being on the (detail removed by Moderator), but he told his (relation removed by Moderator) I left so she started harassing me, on every platform and messages, even emailed me (number removed by Moderator) times until I answered and wouldn’t leave me alone until I called her to discuss things. She said I better not leave him as she is scared I will ruin his life if anyone knows about it, when that wasn’t my intention at all, all I wanted was to leave the relationship and move on with my life as I didn’t feel safe with that information. They lured me back in as it’s harder with no family of my own around me to help with things, I wish I never moved in yet as I had my own place which would have been easier to break things off and block on everything.

I spoke to my dr about my situation who helped me by calling my local women’s refuge, I finally left but they started harassing me again, the stress got too much and his parents are telling me none of this is abuse, it’s just me creating drama. So I went back to keep the peace. His (relation removed by Moderator) started becoming overly rude and racist to me which has made me feel uncomfortable and now his (relation removed by Moderator) has made up more drama to cause issues with my partner and I. My level stress is too high and my partner is wanting to get me pregnant so I won’t leave. I never leave the house now unless it’s with him and he has my location on to see where I am at all times. I feel so trapped, I feel so miserable and depressed and all I do is have panic attacks, cry all the time and feel so unlikeable by this family. But if they hated me so much, why don’t they just let me leave? I’m so scared to talk to my dr about my mental health as my partner will be asking me a million questions and won’t leave me alone until I tell him what I talked about.

I know he doesn’t physically abuse me, but I don’t know if this even emotional abuse or mental abuse? I just don’t know what kind of abuse this falls under?

 

Thank you for reading and any insight would be really appreciated.

[Eyesopening]

we are all on here wondering if our situation is abusive. When I read your post I am astounded at how abusive your relationship is, you are also being abused by his family. Maybe don’t think of the word as abuse, think of it as the word control.. I think you will find it easier to apply the word control to the whole situation and what they are trying to do to you.
there is a reason it takes on average seven times to successfully leave an abusive relationship. The trauma bond, the cognitive dissonance, the abusive manipulation, psychologically, emotionally, keeps us trapped.
if you talk to anyone on the outside, they will see very clearly straight away that this is an abusive relationship.
try reading other people’s posts, when they ask whether it’s abuse, you will probably be able to tell quite quickly.

this is the reason we need outside help to help us get out. Lean on your support network of your GP and Local Domestic abuse workers.. on this forum. Keep posting, keep reading. Start an escape plan, a safe one..

stay safe xx

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