If only people knew

[Joanne]

I find myself lying to my nearest and dearest. Friends and colleagues. People think I have the perfect life and the perfect marriage…ohh boy if only they knew the truth.
Sometimes I just want to shout and scream to everyone about what’s really happening. My family love him and think the world of him so how can I destroy there perception of him. Plus I also think if I pretend life is good then maybe it’s not as bad as it seems…im so confused and my heads mashed..not sure if by doing this is making my confusion worse but I don’t want people to think I’m weak or iv failed.

[Confused123]

hey hun u havent failed, his failed u. this is how he is getting away with it by staying quiet, talk to your family let them know, i found this really hard to do, but we have to do. call the helpline , they are really good at listening and guiding us. we go into denial to cope ,

[White Rose]

Dear Joanne
Confused is right, call the help line they will help. Be patient if there’s no reply leave a message and someone will ring back.
Getting validation from women’s aid helpline was a turning point for me. I poured my heart out and at the end realised I was being abused it wasn’t all in my head. Once I had that I was stronger and starred making plans to remove myself from the abuse.
I felt how you do – that ever one thought he was amazing, how we were such a great couple such a lovely family. After speaking to womens aid I knew I had to talk about it – my mum was flabbergasted to start but 100% with me throughout. After we talked she kept phoning me to say “do you remember the time when he…. ” and blaming herself for not noticing. I “came out” to me sister in law (his sister!) I think perhaps more to be talked out of how I thought things were and for her to say it was actually “normal” the stuff he was doing but she didn’t she listened and believed me and became my ally and my best friend and my rock and still is.
You’re living it. You know what it’s like. We’re all experts at the brave face the chat and the lies so we don’t let anyone know what life is really like but sometimes enough is enough and it’s time to put a stop to it.
Keep posting
Be safe
Talk to helpline
You are not a failure
Sending hugs xxxxx

[Author]

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