If you had a daughter…

[justfedup]

So I have read some interesting stuff recently about domestic abuse recently in my question to establish in my head what is going on and today i came across a very surreal idea. Its nothing new but got my coggs turning. If I had a daughter, if she was in a relationships like mine, if she was talked to like I was, if she was made to feel like I feel, like my options and emotions and thoughts arent valid or worthy, if she felt her day was controlled my the mood of her partner and worried about things she may say or do to spark an explosion.. WOULD I BE HAPPY FOR HER? WHAT WOULD MY ADVICE TO MY OWN CHILD FEELING LIKE THIS BE? I think when we answer those questions it really helps find a little persepective on things.

Interestingly I raised such a scenario with my partner whos response was that of course he wouldnt, but he would think she could help her situation more than she does. And when I asked if that meant he means she does more of what her partner wants to make him more happy in therefor he would be nicer to her.. would he feel happier for her.. his response was that he certainly wouldnt asvise her to continually do things to annoy him.

So there we go. I think I know what I would want for my daughter and I know it doesnt make the situation any easier but I think it does help clarify in your mind wether the behaviours you are subject too are right or wrong…

Just an observation. X

[Serenity]

Thank you, Just Fed Up,

You’ve touched on something that I mr ruined yesterday: I was saying how somehow, it’s easy for us to fall into the trap of thinking we should just put up with things, or don’t deserve any more.

But of course, we would be heartbroken if our children lived with such torture.

[Nova]

Hi
I remember once saying to him…would you treat your sister or your daughter or Mother like this?
Then …why do you have such blatant disrespect & hatred for me?

Needless to say I never did get an answer…
All part of the power ‘game’ …exclude & ignore.

Big hugs ladies

[Peaceful Pig]

I do have a daughter and she is treated like this by her father and watching those same tactics employed and have the same effect they had on me is at once heartbreaking and illuminating. She is wise and perceptive however, I don’t think his games will last too long with her x

[Falling Skys]

I stayed with my abuser.

My daughter goes from one abuser to another.

My son is now abusive.

Me staying has continued the abuse cycle to the next generation.

Now I am getting out both children have distance themselves from me. Resently I had to call the police because of my son’s threats.

FS

[justfedup]

Thank you, it is heartbreaking to hear the flip aide, seeing what staying in a bad relationship (or accepting it as abusive) can do to your own children, the effect it has long term on them and us. I think it is so important to hear and share these experiences to get a bigger picture and make you think about the what ifs! X

[Author]

Posts