II know I need to go. But how?

[lost and lonely]

I’ve left my abuser twice now but always end up being drawn back in. I just don’t know how he and why I keep on doing it. We don’t have children but despite there being no real ties other than a mortgage I just don’t have the strength to break free. I leave him but after a few months always end up back here. [Detail removed by refuge] he has threatened me with a knife. I don’t even cry anymore. I’m just completely emotionless. I just don’t know how I will ever make that break for the final time.

[drowningmind]

I have left my abuser before and am planning my escape again,
I think the best way to disconnect yourself from them is to analyse their behaviours as theyre doing them,
it shows you just how pathetic and evil they are,
like working out what they do and why, when I see how manipulative and planned his behaviours, actions and words are it really helps me to see how disgusting and sick minded he is and truly PATHETIC!
it boils my blood and makes it easy for me to disconnect and want to leave with every fibre of my being.
and trust me, if you have the strength to survive what he has put you through, you definitely have the strength to leave, he’s trying to make you feel weak because that’s what he is at the end of the day,
he projects his insecurities onto you and tries to make himself stronger by making you FEEL weaker, emphasis on feel because its a manipulated feeling not the real truth!
he wants to make you weaker but its impossible because you’ve put up with all his s**t and you are stronger than he will ever be, so it makes him even more frustrated and he tries harder.
You are strong enough, and you will get out and away!
<3

[Author]

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