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I have been very ill for a long time and I have struggled and fought for medical support.
My symptoms are all very physical and impact my daily life badly.
After receiving a lot of support from different doctors it seems quite certain that all my problems stem directly from the abuse that I had suffered in my marriage.
Not all investigations have been done yet. However, my GP and consultants do strongly believe that my organs are not sick in any way, but the issues are of a psychological nature.
I was left without help and support for too long.
Not much can be done anymore, apart from heavy drugs.It is really time that domestic abuse is being recognised as a public health crisis.
So many women are permanently ill after domestic abuse. The costs for the health service are vast.
Would this not be a valid reason to argue that the government needs to do more to stop domestic abuse and help the victims early? -
I am very lucky to have got out when I did. I have a primary disability (not caused by abuse), but developed a second debilitating condition while with my abuser. I still have occasional flare ups of the secondary illness when I am stressed, but it has almost entirely cleared up now the abuse has been removed from my life. Unfortunately it was me not the professionals at fault. I was repeatedly questioned on the state of my relationship, whether everything was ok at home and with my family. I was adamant that it was. I had no idea it was causing such psychological distress that I was manifesting physical symptoms. I couldn’t accept that I was having psychological problems, mainly because I knew how my abuser would use them as a weapon to prove my insanity and the fact my mind couldn’t be trusted. It’s all just so messed up.
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Hi ayanna, I’m sorry you are still so unwell. It is rubbish that the state still doesn’t take domestic abuse seriously.
I guess its a cost cutting exercise. It would take a lot of money and resources to tackle domestic abuse head on so they just rely on paying to pick up the pieces afterwards.
This is a lot cheaper, because not everyone asks for assistance when they are hurting or women give up asking after being told no so many times. -
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Hi Ayanna, I feel like your words are my words, only I disagree with the GPs, I believe my pain and symtoms are the direct result of being in an abusive relationship for almost a decade as well, the prolongued stress and often distress I have experienced have brought on my symtoms. The inability to totally break free because we are tied by a child. Life is for living and this has only prevented that, makes life joyless.
Our bodies have a fight or flight response for suvival yes? I’m sure you’ll be aware. We can only maintain heightened anxiety for approx. 15 minutues at a time, when you add up all the times we have gone through this cycle, it sure adds up huh, adrenlin starts to become poison as our blood sugars can’t keep breaking it down. Yes this starts as psychological, but it becomes physical too, my nervous system is damaged, the GP wont confirm this but I know it is, my brain doesnt function as it once did and I have constant tension pain in my head, neck and shoulders, along with nerve pain all over my body, feeling weak all the time and fatigue. The body and mind are connected; in my opinion the GPs just dont know how to treat it – doesnt mean its not there at all.
The only thing we can do is try to change how we percieve the stress, which is sadly all too often a very real threat. One thing we can do is let go of the fear. Work through the anger, stop supressing it because over time this turns into depression. It’s taken me a long time to figure this out and it is still a work in progress.
I feel much better when I completely cut contact, only I feel this is not always possible owing to my child. I’m currently in a no contact phase again, and the churning, aggravating stress I feel constantly in the top of my stomach seems to get some let up. I’m also trying my hardest to create an active, nurturing, healing, fun life for my child, meditate, eat healthily, and walk in the fresh air every day, simple things, yet so hard to tick everyone every day.
There is a government compensation scheme of a kind, I’ve seen some of the women discuss it on here before, but I cant think which agency it is or what is required to access this – maybe put compensation into a forum search if you want to know more? This feels out of reach for me just now, but maybe when the time is right I might look into it. I’ve lost my health, profession, home, life and I because I dont have my health, no matter how much I want to turn things around, it just doesnt seem realistic, I know I will at some point, just need to keep on chipping away.
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