I’m confused

[Artemisa]

Hi

I’m living with my ex still due I can’t afford to pay rent on my own and also living with our kid. He is in (detail removed by moderator) of still in full time education

We been separated and still living together for many years now.

Our relationship was toxic and I suffered verbal, philosophical, emotional, sexually, financially and physical abuse by him.

That was one of the reasons why I finished the relationship.

I tried several times to finish the relationship but it didn’t end up well…as every time or he used to become aggressive and then calm down, others he used to ignore what I was saying. He is quite manipulative, he makes you feel guilty and if guilt doesn’t work,he use verbal abuse ( call names, belittle you, rise tone of voice in a threatening way, etc…)
He if I try to have a conversation, tell anything my son,or hug he interferes and starts coming in between, tells me to leave him alone, or tell our son to stay study and ignore me. The time I talk to my kids he in my own language or in English in a private conversation my ex tries to get to know what the private conversation is about, try to get in between the conversation, contradict me, try to get a fight, belittle my older one and me, etc…
He is trying to alienate me from our son and talks bad about me to our son.

I find that somethings he looks through my things, or around the house that are mine disappear, I find my mail open not by me or my son, but by him…he is harassing me to sign papers of divorce and threatened me by telling me that if I don’t sign he will sale the house and disappear to another country leaving me in the street…and other things…

He also is trying his best for me to leave the house. Every single week and most of the days of the week…he will try to get into a fight, get his way.
It’s exhausting and stressful.
I believe he has quite a lot of n**********c traits. He is aware of his behaviour. When I used to be still with him I used to tell him to get professional help ( individual and as a family) he never wanted, I used to asked him (detail removed by moderator) and then I told him many times that if he didn’t change his behaviour the relationship will end. At the end after a lot of personal struggles I ended.
One time he got me crying and my kids showed him laughing behind my back with pleasure because he made feel bad, a couple of times he said to the kids (detail removed by moderator). I had to had a talk about that to my kids and the told me they were not like that and relax…but still gets me worry.
My (detail removed by moderator) was video calling us( his brother and me) and he was mentioning that was going to (detail removed by moderator). The father again got into the conversation and told (detail removed by moderator) And my ex laughed.

He make the environment tense, makes offensive “jokes”, he keeps telling me “leave the house”, if I’m sick or I have to stay in the house studying or relaxing he will find things to fight about, or comes to me to ask me about our divorce, when I’m leaving…

I want to know if all what he is doing right now is illegal or abuse? Because I’m confused…

He is not physically abusive anymore, but he is doing things that makes me uncomfortable, verbally, psychologically, emotionally abuse and is giving me anxiety and stress. I’m finding it hard to go back home after work or going out.

[Camel]

Hi Artemisa

I’m sorry you didn’t get a reply. I hope you’re OK.

I have to admit I find your living situation very confusing. You say you’ve been separated for years, sharing the home, yet refuse to divorce.

(detail removed by Moderator)

Have you sought any legal advice at all? Your husband’s threat to sell the house and move abroad is probably illegal. It can be prevented but you need to see a solicitor as soon as possible.

Do you know what you could expect to receive when the house is sold?

Have you looked into what benefits you could be entitled to? (Housing benefit, council tax reduction, free healthcare and school meals.)

(detail removed by Moderator)

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