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I met my partner in middle of (detail removed by moderator) and things moved pretty quickly by the beginning of (detail removed by moderator) he had moved in. When we 1st met he told me he had one daughter who stayed with him (detail removed by moderator), he owned his own property, he was (detail removed by moderator) of a (detail removed by moderator) company, he was financially secure and had his own car and (detail removed by moderator). Once he had moved in to my property and had been here over a month I questioned why his daughter hadn’t been around he told me because she had turned (detail removed by moderator) that she was more interested in her friends that she would absolutely be here for the next again weekend that weekend came and gone along with others so I questioned him again this time is because she doesn’t like (detail removed by moderator) and it was too much travel for her, next excuse was there was social services involved and he had to go between CW different councils, the next excuse was his ex partner was being difficult. Same with his family he said they didn’t get along due to a (detail removed by moderator) but all of this was lies. Turns out he’s not aloud to see his daughter due to drink and anger problems, he had no car, no van, and no home because he’d not paid his rent which was infact rented not owned he lost it all due to (detail removed by moderator) , assaulting a (detail removed by moderator) and (detail removed by moderator). He financially picked me up at (detail removed by moderator) after a change in circumstance and he bought my children (detail removed by moderator) this was before I knew of all the lies. I kicked him out in (detail removed by moderator) when he finally owned up to telling all those lies and for letting me believe he was this lovely person. He is now demanding the money for the (detail removed by moderator) he has the receipts and is threatening me that if the money isn’t in his account by tomorrow he will send police to collect what is his. He has also threatened to turn up at my property in person. I borrowed (detail removed by moderator) to pay him half of the (detail removed by moderator) today thru fear of him coming to my home he’s in a flat with nothing and making me feel so guilty as he only has s mattress on the floor no food, gas or food. I put him in this position he says because he paid alot towards (detail removed by moderator) and because he didn’t pay his rent to help me financially but I didn’t ask for his money he just kept buying things not only for me but for himself. I feel so afraid and confused
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Hi Flintstone
sorry he is doing this to you. If I were you, I’d contact the police and tell them the situation, and how very scared he had made you feel. Please don’t borrow money to pay him back. He cannot take the monetary value off you for christmas gifts. Nobody in any world (other than his) would believe this is something he can legally do. He cannot. Please stop thinking you have to give him money. He landed himself in this situation, and from what you say, not for the first time. He just thinks he can bully you till you pay for the bikes he ‘bought’ (what if he stole them? or got them off someone else who stole them?).
Get the police to check the bikes, and once they know of his threats and of your fears this will be also registered against him, they could also do a check for you under Claires Law, so you can see what offenses he has registered against him for child abuse and domestic abuse against his previous partner.
Do tell the police how scared you are of his coming around to your house, and make it clear to him that he is no longer to come to yours and your children’s home, and that you won’t hesitate to contact the police if he does, then stick to that. If he turns up, don’t open the door and call 999 immediately. They will escort him away, and you don’t need to have any contact with him. Also warn your children that they are not to open the door to anyone, because he has made this threat, and you are scared he could hurt you or them, then maybe put a chain on the door so that they cannot easily open the door on the offchance they forget or he entices them with offers of treats to get them to open it without you knowing.
Once you’ve warned him of your wishes, you can block him everywhere, block his number and any/all social media from him. If he works round your blocks, then these things should also be reported to the police, each and every time he does it.
You will need to be very consistent with this, as from what you’ve said, I’ve no doubt he will try to damage your character to the police and social services, and social services, sadly, will not automatically discount his allegations against you, and they will hold you accountable if you have contact sadly, instead of him.
you are not alone, and many here will understand your situation, so do feel free to keep talking and posting all you need. If you act to protect you all, it can take away a lot of the fear you have because it will put you back in control of your lives again.
warmest wishes
ts
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Go to the police and say his blackmailing you , screenshot all texts , do not respond , any voicemails save , any money trails through bank , save everything. His manipulating you for financial gain , monetary purposes. I had all of this myself and his not entitled to any money for gifts he bought as they are classed as gifts . Against the law what his doing and he knows that his trying to pick on your fears to extort money . Stop now as he will never leave you alone . Ignore everything, keep copies and show the police as that’s blackmail. Do not feel sorry for him , opportunist who targeted you , your probably find his done this to a lot of women all his life , entitled. You owe him nothing!
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If he turns up at your house call the police , he wants you to feel guilty so you keep giving him money that’s y his doing that , blaming you , he trying to get into your head so you feel bad for him , don’t ! I went through all of this myself. Be firm and stand your ground , if you have to bluff him , but definitely report him to the police , he lied so you thought he was in a better position than he was as if you knew what position he was in you would never have entertained him and of course he wouldn’t have been able to use you for money as you would of known. Kick him to the curb and leave him there . Your in control of this , do not allow him to threaten you with bullying tactics , stand up to him , before it gets any deeper .
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Threatening you with police ? I’m sure police would be interested in his blackmailing and intimidation tactics . I’m sorry but it’s made me really angry reading your post as I went through exactly what you did and gave my ex a hell of a lot of money , he played same games , told me near enough same lies . Please don’t let him get to you anymore I can’t empathise enough the importance they are like leeches , suck you dry x
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If he tells the police he lent you the money then they won’t be interested as it would be a civil matter, he’d have to claim that you committed a crime such as theft or fraud. The police would be more interested in you reporting him for abuse, blackmail, or threatening behaviour. I’ve had those kind of threats ‘put money in my bank or else’ and it tends to be all hot air, no action but obviously make sure you are safe. You didn’t put him in this position, he did it to himself with the lies and choosing to be abusive. You owe him nothing, he’s a grown man and needs to provide for himself despite what he’s trying to claim xx
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