I’m crippled with anxiety and can’t function

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Someone please help! I feel scared I was in a shop and felt so uneasy, fidgety, my heart rate was fast I just felt so anxious. I know this is because I went out on the weekend I shouldn’t have gone. I was left alone with a man who was drunk and flirting with me. Why did my friend do that she told me she will look out for me? Also, she kept telling me to enjoy my life and not let him bring me down. She has absolutely no idea what abuse does to a person just because they’re gone doesn’t mean you can ‘snap out of it!’

My work situation is dealt getting me down too. I have no choice but to work for a bully. I’m quiet, withdrawn and unsocial at work now how am I going to get through it? Then being an ethnic minority worries me (detail removed by moderator). I noticed around work that I get stared at because the colour of my skin and I’m anxious about being on the receiving end of racism as this is a racist place.

Why can’t this all go away? Why did I have to meet him? I can’t even function my head hurts, my hands are sweaty, my heart race is high I feel so ill. I just want this all OVER! A relative of my dads from another country telephoned yesterday snd spoke to me. She was really reassuring but I hate the fact that others know I’m a victim of domestic abuse! It’s as though I’m being victimised again! I’m trying not to cry at work but my hearts broken! Help!

[KIP.]

Firstly, sending you a big hug. Second, this is all normal in the recovery process. You’ve been through a terrible trauma. It might be worth visiting your GP and taking some time off work to continue your recovery. I was very very sensitive and even paranoid for quite some time. My friend said some really hurtful inappropriate things too. I distanced myself from people who weren’t understanding and sympathetic. During recovery, I had just enough head space to deal with the recovery process. Any added stress or perceived stress just pushed me over the edge. You’re a survivor of domestic abuse. You will get better and out this all behind you but your mind has to sort through it all and that takes time and self loving X

[godschild]

Hi Also sending you a big hug,lots of people have no clue re abuse and what it does t oyou, agree with KIP maybe you could take some time off work , to have to work with a bully whilst trying to cope with the aftermath of abuse is too much, you need bit of space.
Your symptoms are classic anxiety they feel really awful but will not harm you.
It is an offence for people to be racist if this is happening at work you should report it,(detail removed by moderator),take care xxxxxx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi I can’t he’s the boss and there is no HR. I’ve certainly learned my lesson I will not be working for a man who owns his company again it will be a big company. I cried to one of the assistants she could tell I’ve not been myself. I feel much better now and her daughter was a victim of abuse so she understands. She said maybe talking to my counsellor will help. I am going to chase it soon 3 months is the waiting list and 2 months have passed.

I have some annual leave booked soon and I can’t wait for that. I’m going to go to the gym, I have a massage booked going on a road trip with a good friend, I also have plans with other friends and I want to spend some time with my mum. I also want sleep and rest and Im looking forward to that. A really hectic social calendar isn’t good for me I’m learning to take it easy. I’ll come back to work refreshed, having seen my DV lady so I think I’ll be in a better place. I’ve resorted to chocolate because I feel so down but it’s helped!! Thanks ladies. So glad you were there to listen. I might see MY GP during my time off but when I do go I’m doing well so I don’t mention anything! X*x

[KIP.]

Glad you feel better. If you can afford private councelling meantime it might help see you through. Even if it’s just one session. It’s nice you’ve found someone understanding. Sometimes we just need to talk. It’s good to speak to your GP when you are feeling well. Tell them what you’ve been through. Then when you’re feeling too low to communicate, she knows what it’s all about. She might be able to hurry your councelling along too. It’s a real rollercoaster ride to recovery. You’re doing great. And you’re learning what you can tolerate ❤️

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thanks the counselling is through women’s aid. I don’t know I feel looking someone up on the Internet and then building that trusting relationship with them at least this way it’s an acrdiyed person.

I’m still really upset,drained and feel like I’m being repeatedly stabbed to the heart. It’s so painful all of this is. I just want a cuddle but I’m afraid to let my real emotions out in front of my family. I’m scared to break down. I just feel like giving up! I want to just disappear somewhere where noone knows me. I know what I really need is counselling more than anything I can’t move on with my recovery. I just want a cuddle!!!! X*x

[Serenity]

This is all normal, Positive. You will havectimes when you feel you can take on the world, and times you will feel overwhelmed.

Sometimes our friends are well- meaning, but we need to listen to ourselves to know how to heal. We know the pace, and we know the activities which will help us. ( My sister told me to ‘live life at a hundred miles an hour’ to get over my trauma. She is so wrong. I need to pace myself, especially as the stress has left me not only with anxiety but another illness. )

Take your time. On days you feel fragile, really pamper yourself.

As for your work: I don’t know if changing your job is an option? X

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Positive, I have had a range of emotions since splitting from my ex, its all part of the mentally breaking free process, a cleansing of the mind. I have had quite severe missing him, sadness, anger, contentment and joy. Now I think about him virtually never, 2 weeks ago I missed him. The mind is a funny thing. Try to take care of yourself and do things that make you feel calm and happy. X*X

[Racoon]

I’ve sent you a PM about someone I found on You Tube that may just help get you through this rough time.

Racoon xx

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Thank you all so much you’ve all really helped. I looked at that ladies YouTube video and it really made sense. It’s helped feel more positive I’m going to spend my lunch break listening to her. I can’t change my job as I had too many gaps when with him so I just have to suck it up and get through it. I know some time out soon will help.

You are totally right I feel like my recovery is up and down all the time! I’m trying to still find a pace that suits me. Thank you xxxx

[Author]

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