I’m doubting my reality

[Lilylocket]

Hello everyone, I’m new here, and I am struggling so much. After taking back an abusive  ex after (removed by Moderator) year apart, here I am nearly (removed by Moderator) years down the line and I’m still putting up with it, but after a long list of things he has put me through this time, (time frame removed by Moderator) was the final straw…. But now I am doubting whether I have over reacted? This is the problem i constantly doubt myself and my own truth leading me to stay in the relationship with him, it’s almost surreal that this is happening to me yet when I talk about it I feel like I’m talking about someone else. I’m so alone in all this and I don’t know what to do….. I need reassurance that I’m not going crazy more then anything and that my morals are actually correct because I feel like my morals and values have been trampled on that much that they are made to feel wrong. (detailed/specific incident removed by Moderator)

[Lisa]

Hi Lilylocket,

Welcome and thank you for sharing about how you’re feeling.

It’s so common for women to question their own experiences of domestic abuse like you’ve described. The minimisation and normalisation of abuse by abusers, plus their tendency to blame their behaviour on their partner/ex adds up to this sense of not trusting yourself. I know that most of the women on this forum will have felt similar at some point, hopefully someone will be able to post soon to let you know you’re not alone in this, but you also might find it helpful to read through some of the old posts.

You could also contact our Live Chat service to talk things through with a support worker for some reassurance, or reach out to your local domestic abuse service for some ongoing support. The Freedom Programme provides information on domestic abuse to help women make sense of their experiences and you can search on the website for a programme local to you.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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