I’m exhausted

[Nextchapter]

I’ve been with my partner around (detail removed by moderator) years and now finally accepting I’ve been abused on different levels while away from him, and I really want to report him but every time I go to tell someone important or find the courage I break down, and for some awful reason I feel sorry for him. Then I hate myself. He’s physically hurt me! And spat in my face and made me feel worthless and now I can’t even do something about it. I feel frustrated and so upset….. has anyone else reported anything, and did they go through this. It’s making me sick daily.

[Lisa]

Hi Nextchapter,

Thanks for posting. The feelings you explain are totally understandable. Living with abuse is very confusing, exhausting and over time it eats away at your self esteem. It’s not unusual to feel sorry for your partner, even though your logical brain tells you how completely wrong and illegal their behaviour is, there is a strong bond present and with that comes a sense of responsibility for their wellbeing. He will likely have turned the blame onto you and possibly played the victim. Just to clarify- you are not responsible for him, his behaviour or his wellbeing. The only person responsible for abuse is the abuser.

We understand that reporting to the police is a big decision, so perhaps you could start by talking to a support service first, just to help you to talk it through. You could try our Live Chat, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline or contact your local domestic abuse service.

As explained in our Forum Guidelines we cannot have any discussion of court proceedings on the forum, so users may not be able to reply in detail to your question. However you could use the search function on the top right to search the forum for previous posts.

You also might find it helpful to read through the section in our Survivor’s Handbook called Police and the Criminal Prosecution Process.

The fact you’re considering reporting shows that you are taking this seriously and feeling the need to take steps to protect yourself and improve your life, so trust yourself and you will get there.

Lisa

[Nextchapter]

Thanks Lisa I really appreciate the reply. Thank you xx :,(

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