I’m finally out but….

[selfish]

Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has supported me and gave me strength. I am finally out, got a lovely house with the kids and I can say it’s been just lovely. I don’t think I could have done it without the encouragement from everyone. It’s one thing to have support of family and loved ones, but having this forum with woman who, unfortunately, understand what it’s been like. I hope I can return the support to others.
As I said, I’m out and after (detail removed by Moderator) of control, humiliation, gaslighting, physical and emotional abuse I got away. Because we have children I’ve had to keep contact at the moment to arrange him seeing them. I am struggling and I don’t think anyone not being through it can understand is how conflicted I am. I still put him first, making sure he has enough time with the kids, and he isn’t doing too much running around. But, and this is the hardest part, to everyone else he is this changed man, me leaving has given him such a wake up call, he’ll now to anything he can to ‘win me back’. I know it’s a game, yes sometimes I do have doubts and think maybe he is this nice guy. What I think people don’t see is I saw him switch. He could be the worst person to me, but so lovely to everyone else. Yes I’m getting the lovely helpful side at the moment, but he’s still getting his way, as I’ve asked for nothing from him. I’m still scared of the consequences if he’s not happy. I’ve seen him ruin lives and I know how far he’d go. I think what I’m looking for is reassurance that my gut instincts are right and he won’t have changed and therefore I do need to keep alert. I will never go back, the only times I’ve cried since I’ve left is of fear I’d have to go back. I feel like he’s been able to twist the narrative and now I’m questioning if it really was that bad. I know people think I’m lying as his version of events is so much more believable, as people think if it was as bad as I say then I would have left/called the police etc.

[Better-days]

Well done I’m very proud wish I has some of your strength youv come very far. Whoever your doubting yourself read old posts remind yourself of the bad times. don’t fall into the trap youv done yourself and your kids proud x

[browneyedmum]

Well done!

Re-learn how to trust your gut. Intuition is quite under-rated.

Most of all, stay safe xX.

[Author]

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