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To a holiday destination were meband the boys been going for many years. I go because the boys love it. But the last time I were there my ex were with us it’s going to bring back awful memories again. Being on edge it will seem strange not having to have my barrier up and not having to please him incase he blows a fuse. Abuse haunts the hell out of you xxxxx
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It gets easier. I went back to a place my ex and I used to go. I took a friend and I had a lovely time. I did what I wanted to do, I took my time, I wasn’t dragged up a huge hill or kept awake with drunken snoring. Why should I deny myself a place that I found in the first place. You go and enjoy your family with one less problem 😃
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Hi Betterdays,
I live in a beautiful part of the world. I wanted to move back here with my husband when we married, as it is so nice.
Then began years of unkindness. I’d take him to the most beautiful spots, and he’d ruin it with his impatience and cruelty.
After he left, I didn’t see how I could ever go to those places again. To me, places equal memories. They trigger emotions and feelings.
Painfully, my job sometimes took me to some of those beautiful places. I dreaded going. But, there I met new people, was involved in new things, and the apex of it was last week: I had to go to the town where my ex’s house is, and though I felt worried, it was in fact a lovely day. I met so many good people. It’s like I am creating new memories.
I have also realised that a lot of these beautiful places, which my ex kind of took over, I had gone to and been to with previous people- friends, past boyfriends, etc. My ex doesn’t ‘own’ these places. I am as entitled as he is to go there and enjoy them.
What you can do this week is build new memories. When you go back home at the end of the week, you will have lovely recollections of fun times, without any abuse.
Even if it’s tiny steps, we are evolving and growing all the time by moving forward. You’ve been brilliant to book this holiday: you’re a very strong and brave woman, and an amazing mum.
Make sure you do some things this week for yourself. X*x
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Excellent idea…to re visit places without all the baggage!
Travel light & enjoy!
I’ve had so many awful trips with him…showing him places he’d never have travelled too! Just for him to try to spoil it all…totally embarrassing!Not any more Thank G!
My regret is taking him along in the first place!
Hugs
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Haha kitty I was thinking that too! You are brave to do that, it’s awful being haunted by memories and triggers and there are lots of places I avoid now. I think it’s a great thing if you can build some new memories in this place. Just try and do some self care and keep an eye on how you feel when there. I find writing a journal helps if I can remember to do it as it gets the thoughts out of my head just swirling around all the time. Or I also find listening to music on my headphones drowns out the bad stuff sometimes. Hope it’s really lovely for you x*x
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