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It’s (detail removed by Moderator) since I started divorce proceedings. Still in the same house. He ignored me completely, even in front of the kids. I am desperately unhappy. It was better before. I should have stayed. I have destroyed our family. I feel so guilty. I’m not even sure what I’m doing here. I thought there was emotional abuse but now I’m not even sure about that. Basically I should have been better and tried harder. I hate what I have done.
Has anyone felt like this and got better? It all feels so hopeless.
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Soconfused2,
You have done the right thing.
Do not doubt yourself.
You are brave, strong and working towards a better future.You will have doubts and second guesses.
It’s natural.The worst part for you, is ending it and having to live in the same house for (detail removed by Moderator)!!!
That’s mind boggling .
I have total respect and admiration for you.
That takes a whole lot of guts, and courage.Imagine the end result, in your own space, peaceful, tranquil.
That will be coming soon.
Hold onto that thought. It will be reality soon.
Xx -
Hi Soconfused2
Yes, I felt like that.
You’re getting the silent treatment but doubting emotional abuse. It’s so hard to keep a level head whilst your going through divorce but still living in the same house.
When I did the same thing, my ex was cycling through the abuse cycle several times a day. It’s crazy making; it can make you feel like you’re loosing your mind. At one point I was counting out paracetamol to see if I had enough to end it all. I’m so glad I didn’t.
It can be a long, hard road to recovery but you can do it and it is so worth every step. I’m loving my abuse free life.
What doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger – eventually. Hang on in there.
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Yes. Previous partner I ended up stuck in same house for several years (yes years!) after splitting, another I was stuck living together with for months. Sadly didn’t learn about abuse until the last one hence repeating patterns. My home was not a home, it was horrible. Both stopped paying bills, both ignored me, both behaved like this infront of kids.
It absolutely does get better when you’re out, this fog and crazy mental battles shift, you will smile again. I know it hurts right now, I know you’re questioning the decision and tempted to stay but the fact he’s weaponised your home and is not protecting the kids or respecting you to even say hello is all the proof you need. You did not leave this relationship on a whim, and ending things does not justify his behaviour now. People end relationships all the time and whilst one or both parties hurt, abusive behaviour, treating you like dirt on his shoe is not ok. Keep thinking this time next year all this will be a memory, you just got to get there. x
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