This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Bettyboop 3 weeks ago.

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  • #114739
     Bettyboop 
    Participant

    I’m in my late (detail removed by Moderator) and have suffered depression all my life. It gets worse as I get older. I was just entering another episode when it came as a blinding light that I had been emotionally and psychologicallly abused by my father and witnessed violence against my brothers. I was then ‘groomed’ although we didn’t have that term back then, at (detail removed by Moderator) by a man (detail removed by Moderator) in his late (detail removed by Moderator) for (detail removed by Moderator) years. I have had therapy over the years and all have said my father abused me and my mother failed to protect me from him or this other man but I refused to believe it, it all sounded Freudian and too simple. A month ago it all just fell into place, just like that, like a bolt of lightening. My father is long dead and so is the other man, with whom I had a daughter who is her (detail removed by Moderator). My mum is alive and in her (detail removed by Moderator). I am very close to my mother and see her everyday but I felt compelled to disclose this information in order to help myself and salvage what’s left of my decimated life. I did this via text as I was too afraid to face her and copied my brothers and sisters and my daughter in so they could understand what was going on. That was (detail removed by Moderator) ago and they have all blanked me since. I have to tell myself every few minutes that I did the right thing, I know I did. The cost to me has been immense but I do feel relief and can now see some kind of peace from my tortured state of mind. I don’t expect to see any of them again. All I asked if my mum was an explanation and an apology but I’m not going to get that. I ran away from this other man when my child was (detail removed by Moderator) old as I finally realised we were both in danger but had nowhere to go except back to my parents. I legally could not stop this other man from seeing my child and the sad fact is she too has suffered immensely from his emotional and psychological abuse. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as emotional abuse back then, I only knew the fear which I now recognise and don’t feel afraid anymore. I am totally alone now, no friends or family as could not form relationships as I trusted no one. But that’s fine because at least I know that I was not ill for no reason, that there’s nothing wrong with my brain and I’m not mad.

  • #114740
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hello and welcome. Someone once said the truth shall set us free. I paid a similar price for speaking the truth too. My son and I are estranged. All we can do is hold our head high and be proud that we won’t live in an abusive realm. We stood up to abuse. I’m an older lady too but I’m rebuilding very slowly. I hope one day my son will understand and my door is open for him. No we are not mad we are abused. But we can get better and move forwards. It will take time and patience but above all be very kind to yourself x

  • #114745
     Bettyboop 
    Participant

    Thank you KIP. The truth does set us free, great quote. My daughter simply can’t get her head around the fact that her benign little grandma could have done such a terrible thing. And Al the family think I’m unstable because I’ve been depressed for (detail removed by Moderator) years. Even having given some precise details none of them can face or acknowledge it. The illusion of family is everything and if you burst the bubble you’re in for it. I know I did the right thing for me to salvage what is left of my life, at any cost, because I deserve it. One day she may come to understand, that would be nice.

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