I’m new here

[Annie1]

Not sure if what I’m living with is abuse but I can’t put up with it any longer.

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hello there what is happening to you? We can help you through this x*x

[Annie1]

My husband suffers from poor mental health. He is constantly nasty and vile. Tonight I said I couldn’t live with it anymore, with the constant out downs , the nasty things he says. He told me if I went I’ds have to take the dog with me. In reality I have no where to go, no family here. He shouts at me,
Swears at me and the other night pushed me out the way to get into a cupboard before
Shouting and swearing as I had forgotten to put pepper on the table. I know he’s I’ll buy he won’t face it or let me call the doc. I’ve been living like this for years and
can’t carry on.

[Annie1]

Sorry my typing is awful as I’m so upset. I meant I know he is ill on 4th line from bottom

[Falling Skys]

Hi Annie

Yes you are, mine used mental health as a reason to abuse me. Not all people with mental health issues are abusive.

FS xx

[Annie1]

I really don’t know what to do. He is so
Nasty. We have no life together, he won’t go out socially or enjoy things like watching a film in the house. Life feels like
Walking on egg shells.

[KIP.]

Ring the helpline for a chat and get in touch with your local womens aid for support. Yes he is abusive. Mental health issues is no excuse for what youve described. They will use any excuse for their abuse x

[Annie1]

Thanks for replies. I can’t phone the
help line just now as he is in. I will try
tomorrow. I feel so ashamed.

[Falling Skys]

Annie

Don’t be ashamed, there was nothing you could have done to stop an abuser abusing.

Make contact when you can and keep posting.

FS xx

[Annie1]

Thank you so much. I can’t see a way out.

[Falling Skys]

There is always away out and you will find it.

FS x

[Annie1]

Thank you FS.. In a strange way it’s progress to know it is a use I’m living with. The
walking on egg shells is so hard. I maintain a professional demeanour at work but am a wreck at home.

[Annie1]

Meant it’s abuse not it’s a use

[Falling Skys]

Im one hell of an actress too, the biggest step I found was me admitting to myself that he was abusive and it wasn’t my fault. Then I was cross with myself for putting up with it.

Work was my safe place. Home (though it really was/is a house I was living at) was a place where I never knew what I was walking into.

I can’t wait till the house sales and I’m free.

FS xx

[Annie1]

I hope you don’t have too long to wait FS. Thank you for your replies, makes me feel I’m not so alone. In some ways I feel confused today, he’s breezed in from work as if nothing has happened. He told me last night not to speak to him, and tonight asked me why I was quiet. When I reminded him of last night, he said he didn’t mean it and was sorry.
If I can summon the energy though, I’m done with it. He is abusive, nasty and vile, upsets me then acts like nothing has happened. This has been going on for years. Today, I’ve had lots of flashbacks from abusive moments over the years. I can’t go on like this.

Luckily, we have a large house and I can settle in the living room at the back of the house, avoiding him. He moved into one of the spare rooms ages ago, so I have the bedroom suite to myself.

I need to take time and plan carefully so when I’m ready, I can go, I live rurally and my biggest problem is where to go. All our friends are mutual ones and I have no family here.

Take care of yourself, and thanks again
Annie xx

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