25th February 2016 at 9:05 pm #10466DriftingalongParticipant
hi everyone im new here and feel it is crucial to my sanity to share some of my experiences And getting control and an understanding on my situation I find myself in and hopefully I can be of help to others too. this is my first step in acknowledging and admitting to myself that I have been with an abuser for far too long and I don’t want to suffer alone and in silence any longer, I would like to take back control of my life again and feel happy again . Thanks for reading x
25th February 2016 at 9:15 pm #10468SerenityParticipant
A big hello, and if you choose to share, you will only get love and support here!
25th February 2016 at 9:18 pm #10469Falling SkysParticipant
Welcome to the group.
Also a big step is realising you have/are in an abusive relationship.
I would say contact Womans Aid they are a great support and can guild you through what you want to do.
Also keep posting,there is a font of knowledge here.
Above all stay safe.
25th February 2016 at 9:58 pm #10471DriftingalongParticipant
Thank you Serenity and Falling sky’s for your warm welcomes trying to get used to posting at the moment and every time I have rung the helpline it is engaged I have left before with the help of the forum , police and counselling and an idva, so I can do it again without going back this time. Just feel a bit silly for going back for (detail removed by moderator) more years and knowing I need help again and what the police reaction will be to me asking for it X feeling foolish and sheepish as if I know going back to him was the wrong thing to do almost like I had my chance to get away with all the support will that be offered again
26th February 2016 at 7:44 am #10476Falling SkysParticipant
Driftingalong, we have all stayed longer than we should. Think we have trauma bonded with them and ots hard to break free of that control.
Don’t think about the past think about your future.
26th February 2016 at 8:34 am #10478LisaMain Moderator
Thank you for your post. You sound like a very courageous lady and I hope that the forum will help you to reclaim your life and happiness. We are all here for you when you are ready. Please also phone the National Domestic Violence Helpline to talk about your situation, they will not judge you or tell you what to do but they will help to support you and offer you practical help with safety planning. You can also access support from your local Women’s Aid group by clicking the ‘Find help locally’ link to the right of this page. Please be careful, it sounds like you may still be with your abuser and we know that it can be a dangerous time when they start to think that their control is slipping away.
26th February 2016 at 9:29 am #10480Confused123Participant
Well done for finding this site and postingon here, like ladies said u will get loads of support form here, it doesnt matter u went back and stayed for x amount of years, walking away and staying away is hard, we all do when we are ready, sometimes we so helpless we end up taking abuse for lot longer then we ever wanted. Keep calling help line u will get through eventually, keep leaving messages for call back daily if u need to, there is so much support out there and police r understanding about how hard we find it to walk away so dont feel aqward that u will be judged u wont
10th March 2016 at 2:19 pm #11192newlife2015Participant
Well done for finding the support of this site – the biggest thing is realising the situation that you are in – I was in ‘denial’ for years and even when it was spelt out to me by a counsellor I went to see it took me a few weeks to come to terms with it (I went to see a counsellor as I didn’t feel that things were ‘quite’ right). Good luck moving forward x
PLease try to take as much support as you can – WOmans Aid have been fantastic for me as well as reading up information on controlling behaviour online and in books – the more knowledge you can get the better and the least contact you can have with them when you have managed to get away the better 🙂 Good luck and stay strong xxxx
11th March 2016 at 8:57 pm #11288martian29Participant
Welcome to the forum. I am sure you will find lots of support from the lovely women on here during your journey out of the abuse. We are all at different stages ranging from wondering if it is abuse to being out a long time. I’m sure most of us know the rollercoaster of emotions at each stage so will understand and try to offer support.
Try not to feel guilty for going back again. Lots of us do, time after time, as we are trauma bonded to them. They are like a drug habit, an unhealthy addiction. I wish you much strength and healing on your journey out. XX
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