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I’m out now. But I’m really struggling. Financially things are tight for now but that will be ok. I miss my kids so much when they are with him. I’m lonely.
I feel like maybe I got it all wrong – There was nothing that bad. Silent treatment, stonewalling, being blamed, that sort of thing. Maybe I should have tried harder, then at least I’d have had the good times still. It’s not like I’m happier now.
If I hadn’t left maybe we’d have been having a lovely time on holiday as a family. Instead I’m on my own, missing my kids.
Not really sure why I’m posting. No one has a time machine. I just feel like maybe I’ve messed up my life.
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Im sitting here trying to hold back tge tears Ive had a bad week my husband has been on and on and on at me making me feel useless ive been unkind to myself and i hurt and im so incredably lonley i just wanna curl up and stay put. Im so done with this life but I cant seem to get out I dont believe i have what it takes.
This is my life and all that I deserve.
Going back wont make you feel happier will it? Remember feeling like I do now? Remember walking on eggshell being scared lonley hurt? Yeah it may be nice for a while it often is but he will return to his old ways and that horrible dread feeling will return.
I can only imagine how hard it is to leave the courage strength it takes you are bound to feel lonley and sad but sweetie going back wont make it any better only going fowards can.
Find a hobby join a club a gym volunteer this life is yours now to live freely as you choose you can make new friends you can see old ones now he cant stop you.
This life is yours to live.
Take it slow be kind to yourself you still have alot of healing to do but know you are strong and brave and you got this.
Sending hugs xxxxxx
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