I’m out, but have no idea what to do now?

[Pinklady]

I finally got out this week, am staying with a friend but I can’t stay here for too long.
I’m so emotional & can’t stop crying, tried calling the helpline but no answer.
I feel so alone & confused, my head is all over the place.

I just want my own place to feel safe & yet am struggling because he was financially controlling as well, I don’t know where to turn or what to do with myself, feel like just scurry away into a black hole & never come out again. Not even sure if I’ve done the right thing, didn’t make a plan, it just got to the point where I couldn’t take anymore & called my mate who came & got me.
What do I do now?

[lover of no contact]

Well done Pinklady, there is no perfect way to leave. The sooner the better imo. You’re out now and these few weeks will be hard as your emotions need to leave your system. Its good you’re not struggling to deal with your turbulent and overwhemlming emotions on your own. Get them all out on here with us, it will help others too, who can identify.

I’ve been where you are and there’s no easy way except through it. Take it One Day At A Time, maybe one hour at a time when feelings are bad.

I know that I feel bad taking people’s help, but don’t feel bad about taking your friend’s help/support at the moment. You won’t need this level of support from your friend forever, but you do need it now. Maybe later your friend will need extra support in her life and you can repay the favour.

Let your tears come out as you need, your tears have probably have to been put on hold while you were busy with him and his dysfunction.

Your feelings of confusion and unmanageability will settle with time. They are normal for the stage you are at, in just having stopped the Cycle of Abuse you were in.

You have been on a ride of terror for so long and you have just come off this ride (of abuse), it will take time for you to recover. You are doing all the right things, coming on here, crying, ringing W.A, taking your friend’s help etc). Keep doing what you’re doing. You will be ok.

Just maintain No Contact with him. He’ll probably try to worm his way back into your life, don’t let him. Keep a ‘boundary wall of No Contact’ rigid and intact so he can’t get through.

[Pinklady]

Hi, thanks for your words of encouragement, I suppose I didn’t expect to feel like this, silly me thought I’d be relieved & happy!
I got a call from helpline though, who said it was perfectly ” normal” for me a this stage.
I’m getting constant calls & messages from him even though I’ve blocked him, it’s all going to the filter, so I have a record.
They’ve also given me some good advice, which I intend to follow through in morning.

As for the tears, I shut down my emotions about 6 months ago as it was the only way I could cope with the reality of it all and if I’m honest about it, his words & actions didn’t hurt as much… however now it seems that maybe I shouldn’t have done???
I don’t know, one minute it all disappears & the next I’m a wreck…
How do you keep strong when your hearts breaking inside it just hurts so fing much fng

[Purplewoman]

Hello Pinklady. Well done.Take one step at a time. Be kind to your self. There will be many emotions. Take all the support you can. No one deserves abuse. I too am plotting my escape as I too so you are not alone. We are here for you. Keep strong.

[Purplewoman]

I meant to say. I have been financially abused and experienced emontional abuse. I hope you are able to rest. I’m sure your mind is racing. It will take time to recover.

[Author]

Posts