- This topic has 18 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 9 months ago by
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What are you going to do BDs? Please think carefully about this. Its common knowledge once you have a child with the abuser the abuse will increase, at the moment you have half a chance with a load of help from here and other sources, to break free. (detail removed by Moderator) I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I think I am telling the truth. I’m assuming the father is either the violent partner or one of his friends, (detail removed by Moderator). WE care about you on here. XXXXXXXXXXX
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HA I read a few of the stories in the BBC links. Some of those men got a minimum of 12 years for murdering their wives! What kind of a justice is that.
Brokendreams, how are you. Have the police said anything about the pregnancy being evidence of the rape? They may be able to get DNA to arrest the father?
It’s a lot for you to take in but you have time on your side to process what’s happening x -
12 years for taking a life is just plain wrong there is no justice, i do hope Theresa May makes a lot of changes around abuse now that she is prime minister. Broken Dreams, I am sorry if it has upset you me posting the links, from what you have said about your situation, I think that you are in a situation of extreme danger and I am so worried about your safety with these animals. We have all been in situations where we needed love, belonging, we were lonely or friendless or felt special. It is likely that your involvement with these people is serving a need in you somewhere, or your manipulated or controlled, something is happening with you to be in this situation. Your past and growing up maybe, it might feel normal & right to you. But we are outsiders who do not know you, we can look at it with fresh eyes and are not hooked in in any way. I think your “partner” is using you for either a free ride, a place to live, sex or something and he & he friends are taking you for a ride. I wonder if they work, pay their way, treat you like a special person?. If he loved and cared for you he would not allow his friends to do anything, i don’t think that he respects you.
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brokendreams,
So glad you let us know and you’re not trying to deal with all this on your own, even though I know you are physically alone. First of all gather all your supports around you. We know. Hopefully there is some lady on here who has maybe had similar situation and she could share her experience, strength and hope with you. I would ring Women’s Aid and let them know. I would also inform your G.P. I would also ring the Rape Crisis centre as they are sure to have dealt with a lot of women in similar situation and being pregnant.
Really you have been through so much since 27th June when you started posting. And you were going though so much abuse before that. I would be really gentle with yourself and just take it ‘one hour at a time’, each day. Do nice things for yourself, like the baths for your injuries. I just hate to think how you’re even managing to do your food shop. I hope the Domestic Abuse support team send someone out to you soon.
This is too much for anyone to deal with on their own. Please keep posting for support from us. You are in my prayers. I don’t know if you’re spiritual or not. I am. And I believe when we ask for help and guidance from a Power (whoever your God may be) greater than ourselves our prayers are answered. I pray that my God may mind you and guide you tonight and in the days, weeks and months ahead. xxxx
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Yes I pray for you too Brokendreams. Spiritual guidance and the answer is within you somewhere you just need to find it. It is so hidden at the moment but sometimes you might get glimpses when you feel a little bit of happiness, determination or anger at your situation. Us women on here genuinely care for you, not the your partner or his friends. Post every day if you can, 10 times a day! You might want to start reading the HG Tudor books in Amazon, they are all free and immediatly available. 30 Covert Manipulation Tactics in Personal Relationships is also free to read. X*X
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Hope your day went ok today brokendreams. Ayanna is right we are queens. We are warrior women. We are Strong Women. We are brave, intelligent, warm, witty, understanding, creative, soft on the outside (but tough on the inside) Women. Abusers lack all the above. They are lacking, we are full of what’s good.
A prayer for you brokendreams I came across today from the book ‘Untie the Strong Woman’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.
The Blessing of Guadalupe (the mother of unending compassion and love).
(Removed by moderator)
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Awww thank you lonc that’s beautiful ❤ , unfortunately I don’t have a mother or a father, but thank you .
Spent the day at hospital, and no longer pregnant, and quite honestly I don’t know how to find,
I don’t have anyone, just me, plus my neighbour ignored my pleas last night, guess like everyone in my life, they are sick of hearing me. , ( not you lovely ladies❤ ).So am home alone, got a panic alarm, ( but if neighbour ignored me last night, doubt he’ll bother, but got some sleeping medication and pain relief, and praying for Monday, as IDAS should be in contact, am anxious, but got to cope alone, at least got phone, hope your all ok, and thank you ❤ x*x
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I feel so sad to think of you suffering so much alone. At times of great suffering, we feel the lack of parents even more keenly. I agree that rape crisis would be a really supportive place to start. I have also found the Samaritans wonderful when I’ve needed a confidential listening ear. Also as I’ve been working through my recovery from rape and sexual abuse I’ve found the websites Pandora’s box and Aphrodite wounded helpful. We are all here for you and praying that support reaches you soon x*x
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Dear Brokendreams, what is the position with your ex and his friends, where are they?
Lonc’s words and poem were truly beautiful, i have sent them to my mum.
Do you feel able to create some sort of action plan? A way to get through this? Even if it is just something really small and minute that you can only manage at the moment, like staying No Contact for half a day? I’m not sure if these people are in your life right now. Because with the very small achievements come strength and small doses of confidence. I let myself go quite a lot in the past during horrible times, I now try to look after my physical health and sleep quality if i can. Maybe this is something that you can do too. We are all here for you BD’s and care that you are okay. Do you want to go into a refuge?X*X
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My ex isn’t around at present, his court case is (removed by moderator), and have been asked to write a letter for the judge to explain how I feel,
(removed by moderator), and strangely enough I don’t miss him, luckily only today to go, and hope IDAS call tomorrow, I have a appointment with (removed by moderator), due to what happened to me now and as a child, I do have a mother, but don’t see her. x*x -
What are you doing when his friends come over? Can you pretend you are not in, don’t look out of the window or answer the door. They will manipulative and penetrate your susceptible mind, it is best to stay No Contact with the friends. Maybe get busy doing something when they are knocking at the door.
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I don’t let them in, they break in, which the police know about, as its usually early hours while I’m sleeping, and before can get the phone its taken, that’s why I screamed for help, but neighbour ignored me, have been told no refuge space in my (removed by moderator) , and have to stay in my (removed by moderator) xx
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