- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Anonymous.
22nd May 2016 at 8:18 pm #17786betterdaysParticipant
On and of all the time. I’m terrified of future scared of all the responsibility. I’m recapping on the last nearly 2 decades and how I’ve wrecked my kids life’s I just don’t think il be same ever again x
22nd May 2016 at 9:53 pm #17795SerenityParticipant
You haven’t wrecked your kids’ lives. You did so well under such difficult circumstances- and you are still doing well.
Unfortunately, these abusers seem to creep their way into marriage and family situations, by pretending they are someone else at the beginning.
He is the one who should be feeling guilty.
Please don’t feel guilty, because then you won’t feel that you deserve to go after nice things and find joy and happiness- but you do!
So many women suffer like we have. Maybe some men too, if their female partners were the perpetrators. The worst thing that can happen is for victims to begin blaming themselves for their abuser’s behaviour: they have suffered enough by being with the abuser, and punish themselves do that they don’t feel entitled to find peace and happiness after they have left. We as victims must fight against this self-blame. 💛
22nd May 2016 at 9:54 pm #17796Falling SkysParticipant
Big hugs xx
You haven’t wrecked your childrens lives you are all victims of an abuser.
Things wont be the same same thank god it will be better for you and your children.
I cried so much at one time but things get easier, I know I will never understand why his head works like it does he is just evil.
I say I did all the wrong things for all the right reasons.
You are not alone and you will get through it.
28th May 2016 at 12:42 am #18139AnonymousInactive
If your kids are anything like mine they’re resilient, are busy learning their own lessons from life’s experiences, and very probably admiring the strength and kindness (amongst other great qualities I’m sure you have) that they see in you. We don’t ruin lives – alter the course of them, maybe. If you can, try to live in the moment, rather than dwell on the past. It’s a sad place and no matter how hard you think about it, you can do nothing to change it. Now is all you have – that you can work with. Take very good care of you x
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