I’m single again

[kitty]

You would think that a non-abusive relationship after many years of abuse would be a walk in the park. That’s what I thought anyway. I have no idea why but I just have this need to leave and be on my own. We were very happy (detail removed by moderator). Now I just can’t stand being here with him. I’ve told him that it’s over and I’m sorting out somewhere else to live. We were meant to be getting married in two years time. I don’t understand why I want to leave so badly. I do love him. He is not at all abusive. I wish I could understand my own thoughts and feelings, it’s so confusing being me.

[Serenity]

Hi Kitty,

From your past posts, I think
You have been through an awful
Lot and are still going through so much.

Maybe it’s taking all your energy to deal with your current issues.

Please ensure you’re getting all the counselling you need.

Xx

[Ayanna]

Hugs, Kitty.
Your reaction is very understandable. You have been through a lot.
After all these experiences closeness to another person can become an impossibility for a while.
You did the right thing to listen to your mind and soul.

Take all your energy and focus only on yourself and your own life for some time. The outcome will be amazing and you will be so much better equipped to deal with life.

[kitty]

He’s gone out to his friends house – has been gone for hours. I’ve just been sat here alone. I don’t know what I feel, kind of just empty. I’ve felt like that for weeks.

[KIP.]

Kitty, i dont think you gave yourself enough time to heal and truely love yourself again. Please take this time to mend and re discover yourself. Being single means you can put your own needs first. I’m enjoying doing all the things I want to do. On my own terms.

[kitty]

I think you’re right. Everything that’s going on with my ex at the moment doesn’t help either.

[SaharaD]

Hi Kitty

I wrote on your post from 8 August that it was all too much for you to handle.

I’m not sure how much counselling, women’s groups and therapy you have had.

Maybe you really need to focus on yourself for a while. It will be ok. I’m single and loving it. I date men but do not want a relationship. I know I’m not ready for that at all or anywhere near that.

I want to be successful in my job and with my finances. That and being well are my focus. I can’t focus on a man.

Being single isn’t bad unless you have issues with abandonment isolation and loneliness.

[SaharaD]

Ps i had non abusive boyfriends where things didn’t work out.

[kitty]

I don’t have any friends and I find it hard to socialise at all. I talk to people at uni but that’s about it. I do worry I will just fade into obscurity and be lonely.

[Author]

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