I'm so scared even

[betterdays]

Of the fact I’m awake at this time and it’s dark outside. As it reminds me of this time last year when we first seperated and that kills me inside. I feel sick to my stomach. I have to admit I’m getting a lot of flashbacks lately. And it’s so horrible. X

[Anonymous]

This a normal bodily reaction Bdays. As the time goes on these will get less. Also in a way it is good to have these, it is kind of theraputic, bringing the horrible things to the surface rather than kept inside. When they are at the surface you can think about it and find ways to manage it. Like Serenity said yesterday about the chicken dinner, try to relax and think of something or do something that you like and makes you feel good. Alternativly, I like to feel and recognize the flashbacks as I find it reduces their power. I always read this verse when I am having to cope with something bad and I cant escape, it seems to help me.

“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation…and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else”
Hermann Hesse

[Ayanna]

I was given a tool how to deal with flashbacks a while ago. I try it regularly. It still does not work properly, but sometimes I have a little success with it to ease them.
It goes that way: when you have a flashback try to make this situation/picture in your head look smaller and smaller until it vanishes.
You can also try to blur it until it vanishes. You can make it blur in colours that you choose, rainbow colours for instance.
I still find this very hard to do as the PTSD is quite strong,. But I keep trying and sometimes it works. x*x

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