I'm sorry for posting so much. My life bores me so it must bore others

[Good samaritan]

I’m just so lonely and cannot make friends anymore because my trust has completely been shattered. All I did when I came home from college was say I’m sure I’ve just seen my ex and my sister and mum started having a go at me and saying I’m imagining things and I bring things on myself. I feel so alone and want it all to end I have no distraction from my life or anything to enjoy anymore. Why do people have to tell you that your to blame when something bad happens to you. My councillor has been working with me to help me move forward and understand the abuse and circumstances left from it was not my fault then I come home to my family telling me it was and that I should just forget everything and smile. Why can’t it be that easy. If it was I would have done it because I don’t like feeling like this

[KIP.]

Hey there, sorry you’re feeling low today. The Samaritans are good listeners if you ever need to talk. I moved on from my abusive ex but I couldn’t move in from the trauma he left me with. That takes much longer. I don’t know if you saw your ex but I would always urge you to trust your gut. I had a weird sixth sense and would often catch his car driving by or see him in the street when I drove by. Saw him on his bike. Yes we live in the same town but he put himself where he knew I would be. All I can advise is zero contact with him. That means zero contact with people associated with him. Contact is toxic and triggering.

[Good samaritan]

Thank you KIP I’m just so fed up of not been able to talk. It’s not as if it is something that happened years ago it was all quite recent and the after affects financially are still mounting up. I wish there was a quick fix like my family want and I knew how to do everything myself so I could sort it but I just feel so completely shattered. Every time I try and be positive in front of my family and look to a brighter future they too either mock or ridicule me much like my ex and even laugh at their own jokes about me. Every time I make myself plans or goals all I get is it will never happen or that’s not going to help. I’m just becoming more and more lifeless every day and been made to feel worthless. Even by my mum and siblings. I didn’t even get chance to finish the sentence before my mum jumped in and said just forget about him. I went outside because it upset me and when I came back my sister started having a go making me feel worse than I did before. I don’t know where to go to get away from everything. I wish I could just walk into a new identity with a job and home so I could feel normal and content again but everything is so stressful it’s coming from all directions and I’m only one person and I have never been through anything like this so don’t know how to fix these immediate problems

[MsTaken]

Hi good Samaritan, unfortunately there is no quick fix otherwise we wouldn’t need sites like this to help us. We all understand what your going through. Nobody’s past experience is the same but the outcome and what we’re left with is. What you feel is normal. You are normal. You’ve been through a traumatic experience and your body and mind need time to recover. Maybe your family just doesn’t understand. My dad said exactly that last week, “I don’t understand” were his exact words. And I was left feeling that he wasn’t really trying to understand. He thinks now I’m free that I should just get a career and buy a house and go out and do hobbies. But when I try to explain to him that there’s a process I’m trying to go through like doing my therapy first then slowly building up he just says that my sister did everything straight away when she split up with her boyfriend. He doesn’t understand that my sister left her boyfriend to be with a richer man where as I left mine because he had sucked the life out of me and left me broken. Have you tried enquiring about any local groups that might be being run for ladies in the same situation as yourself? Some places have free events where you can learn things like sign language or computer courses. Some you can just go for a coffee and meet new people who are always wanting to talk. You don’t even have to tell your family if you think they will mock you for it. Just say your going for a walk. I am currently doing the freedom project and the lady who does it is great. She always wants to hear what I’ve got to say and she completely respects how I’m feeling no matter how low I am. You don’t have to be on your own through this. Talk to your counsellor and see if they have any ideas. Working through everything with your counsellor is great but just ask them if there’s anything more that could help. And there’s always phone lines and forums that could give you some instant relief for getting things off your chest. Don’t set your goals too high at first. Remember your only human. Take time for yourself. Maybe read a book or bake a cake. But if you feel tired have a sleep or a long bath, there’s no shame in being a bit lazy every now and again. You might not see it now but one day you’ll be a strong person again. Keep posting and let us know how your doing

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