22nd June 2017 at 9:37 pm #44542
Sorry I’m so angry and scarred. I will try and do my post without giving to much information.
So after last weeks incident today i have been informed that my ex knows exactly where i was on a certain day recently and that he knows my address and my childrens school.
I have again called the police who again are saying there is nothing they can do. They have put a marker on my address (which was suppossed to be on but has been removed!! Despite us being maracc twice!) But they can’t do nothing as he’s not breached his restraing order! Surely having ‘spies’ is stalking surely making a post like he did is inciting fear.
What am i supposed to do sit and wait for him to kill me??!!
I am so scarred and don’t know where to turn.
22nd June 2017 at 10:26 pm #44543AnonymousInactive
Get in touch with victim support
Tell them your situation
They will give you free alarms
They have helped me so so much to make me feel safer
I also fear my ex but just will protect myself so matter what x stay strong hugs
22nd June 2017 at 10:43 pm #44547KIP.Participant
Did you speak to the domestic abuse police? Ask them (police car) to drive by your home periodically. Contact you local women’s aid. Make sure the school are aware and your neighbours are aware. Putting someone in a state of fear and distress is a crime. Speak to a police Sargeant or inspector. Ring rights for women. Get legal advice and insist the police take action based on that advice. I had similar. He would be just outside the boundary of restraining order. I kept reporting him anyway. Make a nuisance of yourself. Keep complaining until you find someone who knows what they’re doing x
23rd June 2017 at 12:20 am #44549NinaParticipant
KIP has some great advice there. I’m on MARAC and my ex found our location as he tracked my sons phone. I changed mine but didn’t realise that he’d ever touched that one. He knew already roughly the area because of the restraining order. I’ve got the local police watching out for us and they check in every couple of weeks with me. The police have put markers on his cars and I’ve got a panic alarm. I’ve even got a fire proof, lockable letterbox as he used to frighten us with fire. I’m dealing with it by taking all the precautions I can to make us as safe as possible but I hate living on high alert, forever looking out for one of his cars x
23rd June 2017 at 7:00 am #44552
Thank you all. I already have a lockable letter box as he threatened arson when i left. I already have someone from the police and fire brigade coming out in a couple of weeks to see if there is anything else they can do.
They wouldn’t even do anything about causing fear and alarm. I do have to say the police officer did sit trying to think of ways but didn’t get anywhere.
I have a worker from wa who is technically a navigator now. But when shes in work next week she is going to speak to a medium risk idva who i know from the freedom programme to see if she’ll take me on and fight my case. As we have got nowhere with the the high risk idvas.
My childrens school have photos of him so they recognise him.
But (detail removed by moderator)yrs on I’m in a new relationship and he still has me a prisoner in my own home.
23rd June 2017 at 9:52 am #44556LisaMain Moderator
You are doing brilliantly so please stay strong. I can really understand how worrying it must be for you to know that your abuser may know where you live and where your children go to school. This could very well be seen as stalking behavior and must be very scary for you and as you say it is another way of your perpetrator continuing to control you and keep you fearful long after the relationship is over. It sounds like you have put some good strategies already in to place and that you have a good support network too which is great but please do follow up the Police and inform your neighbors and employers that you are worried he may be stalking you as they may be able to help to reassure you and put additional safety measures in place. Please do phone the helpline if you want to talk, they will do their best to think of any other services that may be able to help you and please know that if you should ever want it, they can help look for a refuge for you too so you could relocate to another area.
We are all here for you so please keep posting.
23rd June 2017 at 1:06 pm #44568
I am really hoping we don’t have to go back into another refuge. But sadly i know it may end up being my only option
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