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Hi ladies. I hope you are all well. I am feeling more like myself again I’ve started to be kinder to myself and I’m back to seeing friends and family again. I still cannot believe where I went on holiday! Wow I’m so inspiring I will not let this define me.
I’m in the mood to spend money on myself I want a new image I say the shorter the better lol bright eye shadow the biggest earrings I can find! I want to be bright, wild, free, happy and I’m making so much progress. I no longer feel guilty for spending money on myself I am investing in myself. I am content in my life I walk tall and I do not care about what anyone has to say! I have a time limit on when my divorce is going to come through bring it on! This girl is reborn! Xxxx
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Thank you. There has been more developments! I’m being made redundant and I’ve been placed on garden leave for a few months. I feel really relieved as my boss is a n********t and I’m sick of travelling. I also had some other good news financially so I just feel like I’ve finally have something to start living for. It’s very very emotional I feel that leaving my husband is the best thing that I could have done for my mental health, my happiness, my future. I feel so grateful to God for everything he is doing for me it’s like I am starting to get the life back I have missed. I’m thinking about going away again for my Birthday. I just feel emotional. I never thought I would ever see the day where things are falling into place. It was like he bought everything down in my life don’t get me wrong the job situation is not ideal but I’m choosing one be positive about it and do something about it rather than sitting and giving up. I’m a fighter and I’ll fight everything that comes my way with my very last breath. I owe it to myself! Xx
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Hi Positive,
Yes, abuse stunts us and we’re not able to reach our potential whilst being so diminished by our perpetrator. As soon as they see us achieving or growing, they quickly slap us down.
It seems like there’s lots of ‘rebirth’ and new beginnings happening in your life. Maybe fate has plucked you from that job too, if your boss was unkind, enabling you to be even more free from abuse.
I think these abusers know that they are stunting our growth. My ex used to loudly tell people that he could ‘never get me to reach my potential’ ( how controlling and patronising) as a public mask of concern, when he knew that he was doing everything behind the scenes to dismantle me! And when I did reach my potential and did some training, he took flight!
I am sure you will go from strength to strength in all areas of your life.
I’ve recently had a dental brace fixed. It was a huge leap in self-care to do this. I had it done for cosmetic reasons, but also I think to help me take better care of my teeth ( easier to do if straight). I feel like I’m a teenager, lol! My relative joked that all I need to do now is to start staying out past my curfew and go off on dates on the back of a motorbike with rebellious characters!
But seriously, it’s like I’m rewinding and giving myself all the care I should have years ago. I’ve been guilty of huge self-neglect, even medically. Well, all that’s changing. I’m off to the gym now too, and am determined to transform into a butterfly!
From the sounds of it, you’ve become a butterfly already!
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Thank you both. Apologies for the late reply just been trying to have lots of time to myself.
Again, it’s been a rollercoaster since I last posted. A very important date regarding our divorce has passed. It’s opened up a can of worms like it’s realisation that we are well and truly over. My mind has been casting itself back to the early days with him and that really hasn’t happened since I left him because who he is became as clear as the light of day. But, I think I am still in shock that I’ve made this step and stood up for myself and I’ve realised I have started to live my life again. Rebuild, rebuild and rebuild that’s all I intend to do.
I was down after the situation with work came to an end but I realised it’s a blessing in disguise. I’m looking at roles in cities I’ve lived in before end eventually i hope to buy my own place. I feel I need to put an end to this chapter of my life and reclaim these years of my life again as I feel like he’s robbed me of so much.
You are right there is a lot of rebirth in my life and I’m hoping with my counselling I will be able to deal with goodness coming my way I don’t want to get overly emotional when something good happens to me! It’s great that you’re going from strength to strength and why shouldn’t you? Honestly they behave very childlike! Is great you are looking after your image it gives you such a boost. It will be worth it in the end the possibilities in your life are endless. I don’t know how I managed to stay with him this long! I had absolutely no quality of life I’ve suffered with acne on my upper body most of my life and it’s miraculously gone it was due to stress but I have eliminated the biggest problem in my life! I am healthy, at the best weight I’ve ever been and content within myself. I haven’t felt like this in years. Our situation sounds very very similar I am glad you are putting yourself first it is sooo important I will never neglect myself again.
Thank you for your kind words about being a butterfly that put a smile on my face. 😊. You do get down from time to time but being out is like a new lease of life. I have never regretted leaving him it’s the best decision I made and @Grenache I totally agree with what you say. Each one of us who have left have stood with each other and said no to abuse! X*x
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Hi,
My name is [detail removed by moderator] and I work from home to cope up with my responsibility as a mother and to earn for a living. I [ details about job removed by moderator]
After [detail removed by moderator] years of taking a lot of nonsense and almost coming to the verge of committing suicide, I suddenly decided to change everything. It was [detail removed by moderator] years of going to work, handling domestic responsibilities and still being a victim of domestic violence having no happiness in life. I almost started feeling like a housemaid in my own house and what disturbed me the most was that how could this happen to a person like me who was educated and financially independent enough that the house was running on my income without any contribution from my husband. My upbringing never allowed me to disrespect him but the fact was that he was crossing all his limits just because I was keeping quite and remaining submissive.
One day, I finally broke down and thought that I could not live like this anymore. And then the thought that crossed my mind was that I had to live for my daughter until she could manage herself. And I decided to take charge of my life and made it categorically clear to my husband that I would not tolerate any more nonsense from him anymore. He was free to leave if he wanted but the next time he would raise his hand, I would lodge a domestic violence complaint against him with the local police and since then he has actually stopped. Things are much better now but there is still a long way to go before everything becomes good.
[name removed by moderator]
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