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    • #146150
      Broadbodiedchaser
      Participant

      I have been experiencing the ‘drip, drip’ effects of emotional abuse for almost (detail removed by moderator) now. It took me years of crying, confusion and ‘going in circles’ to finally have a ‘lightbulb’ moment and realise I couldn’t continue this path. It was mainly controlling behaviours and manipulation. I think it was realising he would never truly ‘care’ for me in my old age that got to me and the fact my children just accepted the rows etc.

      As soon as I got a more full-time job I started to look at places to rent. Then I told my husband I wanted to separate (detail removed by Moderator). He actually suggested I bought somewhere. The following months he was in denial, I don’t think he thought I’d be able to do it but (detail removed by moderator) after putting an offer on a house I moved in (detail removed by moderator). Two friends helped me by (detail removed by moderator) etc. We did it over 2 days.

      I’m not completely ‘there’ yet. I still have some things of mine ((detail removed by moderator) mainly) at his house. Adjusting to not seeing my (detail removed by moderator) children everyday has been hard and every now and then I get insulting, unkind emails telling me I ‘am this, or that’ It’s not easy- I get anxiety now, worse than it was but some of thus is a lack of confidence and loneliness, or hormones (I’m (detail removed by moderator)). I have good days and bad, days I feel strong, days I feel I can cope with his remarks because they remind me of why I left in the first place and tell me I did the right thing. Apparently this week I am unkind and rude because I asked if I could have a quick cup of tea when dropping my daughter off… I still question myself and think, ‘perhaps I am unkind’ but then I realise what’s happening again and you know what? I can walk away from it now. I can go back to my house… my house. My daughter and I have become closer. I hope I’ve taught her to always seek happiness.

    • #146262
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Broadbodiedchaser,

      Welcome to the forum! Thank you for sharing about your experience. It sounds like you’ve come a really long way from that lightbulb moment. It’s always brilliant to hear about such positive progress.

      It’s normal to find yourself slipping into old thoughts because these are what you were told for years, but being able to catch it and walk away from it both literally and mentally is so important.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

    • #146304
      Auriel
      Participant

      So glad you’ve seen everything for what it is, some people can stay decades in the quagmire and fog of the abusive situation but you started to see and got out for a better happier freer normal life well done 🥂 👍🏻 🥳

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