I’m the horrible one

[JanuaryBlues]

He can’t believe how much me turning off my emotions towards him has affected him. Because it was a choice that obviously had nothing to do with him. He only focuses on how nice he’s been in between abuse so of course there’s no reason to be distant or protect myself emotionally because he’s been great.

I was having a bad day anyway, so I ask him to have the baby for the afternoon (he wants to prove he can look after the baby full time, so here’s an opportunity). He tells me I can’t go out because (detail removed by moderator). I rolled my eyes and now he has to leave the house to (detail removed by moderator) and doesn’t know when he’ll be back so I now have a screaming baby while I type this because I need to get this out and can’t focus on his every need while I type. Somebody help me! I can’t get through to WomensAid chat as it’s too busy. I can’t get through on the phone because my husband will probably be back by the time I get through. My GP referred me to someone but I haven’t heard from them. Everyone I know has their own stuff going on at the moment so this is the only outlet I have. Then when I’ve posted something I get such anxiety because it’s out there now and even though nobody knows who I am, I’ve put the words out there and it feels so overwhelming

[Lisa]

Hi JanuaryBlues,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Abuse doesn’t have to happen all the time but it shouldn’t be happening at all. Abusive men don’t take responsbility for their behaviour- even when they are being “nice”, there is still an underlying feeling of manipulation and control.

I understand this feels overwhelming but you are doing the right thing by reaching out to services. You may want to contact your local domestic abuse service who can provide ongoing support with your situation.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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