I’m the worst again for nothing..

[BlueberryField]

Hi you kind ladies,

I guess I just need to tell this to someone, to not bottle it up as always.

He’s away on a work trip, before he went away I was looking forward to spending some time alone with my child without walking on eggshells and being bullied every day. I was excited to have some rest emotionally..
For the first few days of him being away he was being nice on the phone. But then one morning he had this dream where apparently I (detail removed by moderator). And since then he’s been very rude. I tried to explain many times that there is 0 logic to be mad at me for something I never did and wouldn’t think of doing. But all I got from him that he believes I will do it in the future and from then he’s been totally ignoring me.
I tried to talk to him for couple days but just been ignored, so now I stopped trying.
I’m so overwhelmed with these mixed emotions now. I’m angry for being blamed for something I never did and I know I would never do because this is not who I am. I’m extremely sad because I’m not being believed that I’ve always been faithful. I’m also scared, because I don’t know what to expect from him now, he could come back today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week I don’t even know, he never tells me, but I feel on edge for not knowing what to expect from him.

[BlueberryField]

I want to add that the same day when he told me about this dream he had, he called me in the evening and I took a few seconds longer to answer his videi call than usual. I was sitting (detail removed by moderator) and he got really suspicious as if someone else was there in the house and made it sound that (detail removed by moderator). Even though he didn’t say it directly but I KNOW that’s what he meant. He kept asking these stupid questions just to make me show him around the house as a proof that no one else is there with me and after just told me not to bring anyone (as in other men) while he’s away. I just ended up calling him stupid for saying and thinking that I would do something like that and he hung up. And since then I just got 1 really rude message from him and after that I’ve been ghosted.

[Hereforhelp]

Hi BF, I read your thread, reread it.. he is using a dream, something as adults we know isn’t real.and he is creating a situation that doesn’t exist.. he knows it will cause you anxiety… he has no right to treat you like you cheat or are thinking about cheating and if he truly believes this of you then he doesn’t know you which makes me think why is he with you if he believes you cheat.. that is very insulting to you and your charactor, it is a form of character assassination which is an awful feeling for you.
I am so sorry he is doing this.. have you got any support? You and your child deserve better than this. It isn’t you, it is all him… he may have sensed your relief that he was going away as these abusive men pick up the slightest change and will use tactics to keep you on edge and him in your mind.
The not knowing when he is coming home is Completely unfair and not healthy in a loving relationship and designed to keep you in a state of anxiety.
He has based this recent behaviour of his on a dream… my ex would do this, he would awake and say that he had a ‘nightmare’ that I had done X, Y, Z with someone and he couldn’t help but feel angry towards me…unless u had sex with him!!… back then I did as he asked and It made.no difference as this was my husband’s problem and not mine.

Keep posting
HFH ❤️

[Bananaboat]

He’ll know you’re enjoying some peace and this has done exactly what he wanted and made you anxious and fearful even though he’s away. In other words, he’s ruining this time for you.

I remember that fear and anxiety of if/when he’ll be back. Expect him to be moody for no good reason when he returns, but ignore it and carry on with whatever you and your child would be doing. There’s no speaking rationally or logically with him – like h4h says he’s in a mood over a dream…

[BlueberryField]

Thanks for your replies @Hereforhelp & @Bananaboat

It’s so overwhelming to think that a grown man can act so childish and be mad over a DREAM!
I know that he sensed, I was waiting for this time off. He even mentioned once before leaving that both of us will get some ‘rest’ from each other.

I talked to him today. A few details came up that I wasn’t aware of. And maybe I’m being paranoid, but I know the people that were with him at first. Turns out there was this girl there too and by what I was told there was (detail removed by Moderator). I really don’t believe the story he told me, BUT. Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe I’m being paranoid, but I have this weird feeling that he’s hiding what really happened. All this time he’s been talking to me nicely then all of a sudden he gets mad at me and then dissapears for couple days? And reappears with a smile on his face as soon as she’s gone?

I can’t stop thinking that something happened between them, or he expected her to please him sexually (I’m thinking this based on something he said to me before). She probably refused or maybe something happened between them, she ended up saying something he didn’t like and he snapped at her.
Just what he told me, it doesn’t make sense. And I didn’t have time to ask him more about it to understand more.

I know he’s extremely paranoid, not just with me but with people around in general. And I mean EXTREMELY PARANOID that it sometimes scares me, because he can get delusional sometimes.
So I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid or my gut feeling is true and something is up. And that random ‘being nice’ after ignoring me for so long was him feeling guilty?

[Author]

Posts