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So I went to see him then he started coming on to me this time I was not feeling it I don’t know why think it’s because I have a lot on my mind and because I am currently having flashbacks of my past but not told him. I then said during being intimate I was not ready he carried on and I was panicking I don’t know what to think.
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Your gut is telling you he is dangerous. Sounds like rape. Abuse always gets worse and if you have angered him by separating or reporting him, he will seek revenge and you won’t see it coming. Please ring the helpline number on here or find your local women’s aid. You are being abused. Google trauma bonding. It’s devastating to realise we are being abused deliberately by someone we love and think love us in return. Love doesn’t harm us or rape us x
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I feel so afraid, is it my fault when I kissed him I initiated it. But when I wanted to stop I did say I am not ready. I felt my breathing get heavier I felt my body shut down and I feel like nothing. I feel so confused. I don’t want to believe it is rape. He held me straight after as I felt frozen I am confused. I will try and ring women’s aid today I am just so scared.
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Hi Anonymous,
It isn’t your fault at all, a kiss doesn’t necessarily mean sex and he shouldn’t have continued. Even if you thought you wanted to have sex and initiated it at the beginning, you are allowed you change your mind. It is not your fault at all. In relationship situations sexual coercion and rape is really hard to come to terms with and it is natural to feel confused about it all.
How are you feeling now?
Did you manage to get through to Women’s Aid?
Stay safe x*x
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