I’m worried about the effect on my child

[tryingtosleep]

I’m worried about my youngest child.
They used to be such a joker.
Exhaustingly lively and super confident.
It was the child I never worried about because they seemed to have everything going their way.
Since we have split from my alcoholic ex (apart from brief phone calls) he’s not part of our life very much.
He’s too mentally ill or damaged to engage properly (although he does try).
I feel sad for my child. They saw too much and now they’ve pretty much lost a parent.
Last time we met up with my ex, my child said ‘he was shaking and he seemed sad.’
I feel like it’s had a huge effect.
I try hard to be there as much as I can but it’s not easy.
I work full time and am exhausted myself.
Now my child is quiet, serious and sometimes even withdrawn. It’s such a change from a year ago.
It breaks my heart.
Anyone else have a similar experience?

[Lisa]

Hi tryingtosleep,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation.

Its understandable this is upsetting for you to witness. domestic abuse can have an effect on children, as in most cases this isn’t a secure parent for them and can include feelings around loss.

Its important your child has a space they can explore and process their feelings, depending how old they are you could ask the school about any counselling services or any additional emotional support they could offer them.

Your local domestic abuse service may have access to specialist support for children effected by domestic abuse.

Your child can also speak to Childline if they need to, this can be over the phone or they can chat online.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[StrongLife]

You are not alone in being worried about your children. Totally understand on this concept. It is my first concern and biggest one.

[tryingtosleep]

Thank you stronglife for your reply.
There’s always a lot of guilt isn’t there x

[Author]

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