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Somehow I find that the impact of abuse is more unbearable. It’s like when you finally know how awful those behaviours were and how wrongly you were treated, it’s just traumatising. And the impact, it’s crazy, like low self esteem, depression, trust issues, insecurity, anxiety, panic attacks…etc. These are just absolutely crazy. I try my best to take care of myself, but still. I now try empowering ppl through different forums, since it makes me feel better. I can’t help myself, but at least I can help others. Idk, I feel like I’ve kind of given up on myself, it’s just, too hard. I’m always the one who tried to empower ppl and encourage them to seek help, but I’m the most hopeless one and always find myself reluctant to seek help.
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I resonate so much with this. I can’t stop thinking about all his behaviors and how he’s controlled me for so long. I feel utterly sick.
How do you ever get over it? Especially when you’ve been made out to be so awful for leaving.
Have you seemed help from your local Da service? I’ve finally met up with my support worker after a few months of waiting- I’m hoping she can help me. I have seen alot of your posts you are so encouraging and helpful, you should be proud. Get strength from that- you are strong! Do reach out to your local service if you haven’t done so.
Sending love
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