Somehow I find that the impact of abuse is more unbearable. It’s like when you finally know how awful those behaviours were and how wrongly you were treated, it’s just traumatising. And the impact, it’s crazy, like low self esteem, depression, trust issues, insecurity, anxiety, panic attacks…etc. These are just absolutely crazy. I try my best to take care of myself, but still. I now try empowering ppl through different forums, since it makes me feel better. I can’t help myself, but at least I can help others. Idk, I feel like I’ve kind of given up on myself, it’s just, too hard. I’m always the one who tried to empower ppl and encourage them to seek help, but I’m the most hopeless one and always find myself reluctant to seek help.