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    • #128707
      Controlled
      Participant

      I would be woken in the night by him pulling me towards him for a hug. He would then push my head down forcibly or my hand to please him and he would say you (detail removed by moderator). After he was done he would go straight to sleep and leave me lying there fully awake and wondering what had just happened. He never spent ANY time with me during the day and would be defensive if I said (detail removed by moderator). He said (detail removed by moderator).

      He would be rough during sex pulling my hair out in clumps and pulling my neck back saying this was (detail removed by moderator) and would keep going if I pushed him away or would whisper no. I don’t think this happens to other people. I don’t think this is (detail removed by moderator) as it hurts. He would literally pull and drag me to where he wanted me.

    • #128711
      Auriel
      Participant

      Controlled it’s another form of abuse , another form of control, I’m out and away from someone who was doing those kinds of things and referring to it as passion , I didn’t like it I wasn’t comfortable I felt like a barely there participant and not even that, it was just pure selfish aggression I don’t know %100 but I think men who do this to women have a touch of misogyny about them there’s certainly a high sense of entitlement that’s for sure x x x

    • #128715
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Controlled

      I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that Auriel has been really supportive.

      I am sorry to hear about what happened, it must have been awful for you. It was not okay for your partner to force you into things that you are were not comfortable with, you were not consenting. You deserve so much better. It may be a good idea to get some support from Rape Crisis when you are ready; https://rapecrisis.org.uk/

      Take care and keep posting

      Lisa

    • #128722
      Controlled
      Participant

      Thank you for your comments. This was just the tip of the iceberg. It took almost dying to realise it. I’m still very ill physically too because of it all.

      • #128728
        Auriel
        Participant

        💗💗💗💗 💋 🤗🤗🤗🤗

    • #128731
      ladiesand gentlemen
      Participant

      PLEASE get some help, this will never stop (whoever he is with) its disgusting behaviour, NO ONE should have to put up with this !!!
      Try Rape Crisis, it doesn’t matter if this was yesterday or many years ago.
      Abuse effects us in so many ways, physical ailments we never had before, and it is mentally destroying.
      Take care of yourself x*x

    • #128740
      Controlled
      Participant

      Thank you for your replies. I am not at home anymore, but he tries hard to convince me to come back saying he has changed…… He hasn’t. He has turned my children against me and I feel like I ve lost everything including my health.

    • #128832
      littledove
      Participant

      I’m so sorry

      I don’t know what else to say

      This is awful

      Mine would leave bruises all over my legs after sex. He would coerce me into having it.

      I hope you managed to take some of the advice and helplines the other women have suggested to you.

      Please see your GP to help you get through this trauma as well.

      I’m just so glad you got out. Well done. You’re so strong, you should be so proud of yourself xx

    • #128855
      Auriel
      Participant

      I’m with littledove so so glad your out of it, you didn’t sign up to be the participant in a sadist’s game and I hope so much you won’t be manipulated back into it , your so much better than that, we all are we just need to believe it ourselves it’s our healing and recover time now ( you can’t heal while your with someone who repetitively hurts you) lots and lots of love to you and also little dove ( I hope your recovering from all your traumas) love auriel 💗💗💗

      • #128856
        littledove
        Participant

        Aww thank you Auriel.

        I’m getting there, had a tough past couple weeks, but I really feel I’m getting stronger again.
        Have an appointment with mental health nurse, and with DA specialist.

        Been practicing mindfulness and my CBT techniques from my last therapy sessions. I feel repeating affirmations to myself really help me too. Been reading self help books too.

        So I’m slowly but surely getting there 🙂 I feel slightly better and better each day xx

        Hope you are keeping well too lovely ❤️❤️

    • #128863
      Auriel
      Participant

      Hi littledove I’m ok ebbs and flows see, yeah you sounds as if your going down all the right roads , right people doing things that are encouraging your recovery, keep it up , if you have a wobbly day you know you can get up again and carry on 💞 💞

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