5th January 2022 at 1:09 pm #136555unsinkableunicornParticipant
I havent posted on here for a while but i need to get something out of my system. I have moved out of the family home to go to uni. its great to be partly out of an abusive situation . i went back over christmas and it was dreadful. i was hurt mentally and physically and now he wants some money. im only (detail removed by moderator) and the amount he is asking for is practically my life savings but hes promised ill get it back within a month. ive given money to him before and he has always given it back on the day he promises. i dont know what to do. my boyfriend absolutely flipped and is so angry at me for even considering it. i feel so stupid. whenever i talk to him its like i completely regress to childhood and i cant say no to him. all i want is his love and all i ever do is try to get him to be happy, proud and love me . i want to believe ill get it back but everyone is so cross with me for not standing up to him. im too scared to stand up to anyone , i was never taught how to and everytime i ever did it ended badly.
5th January 2022 at 8:08 pm #136578LisaMain Moderator
Welcome back to the forum and thank you for sharing what’s going on for you at the moment with us.
It sounds like your visit back home was really distressing and as you mention, seems to have felt like you were dragged right back into the abusive dynamic that exists there.
Only you can decide whether to lend this person the money. It sounds like it feels incredibly difficult to say no to him, which is understandable, but must be hard to realise this as you seem to have come so far after leaving.
Whatever you decide to do, it sounds like this visit has made it very clear that you can and have managed on your own, away from this environment, and that nothing at home has changed.
I’m sure others will be along to offer support soon also.
Take care and keep posting,
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