in the past when the police

[betterdays]

Have been called out when he’s started. A week or so later I used to get a letter about them attending To a domestic incident. And a leaflet on domestic violence. I used to have a quick glance at it and rip it up and bin it most likely before he came home. How could I have been in such denial??? I were told in the first couple of months he would never change. He were once prosecuted in court in the early days for a massive bruise on my arm and the judge said this relationship is doomed. What a total and utter fool it were all there in front of me x*x

[Serenity]

We keep hoping they will change and see the error of their ways. We can’t get out head around how awful they really are.

The hardest thing is to accept how rotten they really are.

[undertherainbow]

Oh BD I was the same. Everyone warned me he was bad news but did I listen? Did I hell!! I even accused all my family of being jealous!
I think it’s another reason why it’s so hard to admit to the abuse because you’re almost proving people right and we all have pride after all!
Luckily I had no one, except one EX friend say ‘told you so’. I quickly dropped that friendship. When we’re being loved bombed all we see is positivity whereas to others it sends alarm bells. But we know now don’t we? If anything else all we can do is learn from what happened and stay extra vigilant in future (not that we should have to but sadly that’s life)

XX

[Anonymous]

I so wish i listened to my family!!! But i never .. i never ever want to be in that sort of hell again!! .. plus iam sick to death of people draining me with there problems ive had enough now … especially my brother!!! He brings the c**p on himself!!..

[KIP.]

Hi betterdays, they are conmen of the worst kind. Mine raped me very shortly after we met and I still went on to marry him. We forgive and we trust and we want to believe there is goodness in these men. Not a chance X

[bubbles]

Its the mind set you’re in at the time. “what do they know we’re different” you believe they love you, don’t. You believe the sincerity of their offers to change, they wont. The mind manipulation of the abuser is the most dangerous part of the abuse and the most hurtful in my eyes. If a man walked up to you and hit you on the street and hurled verbal abuse at you what would you do? Say its ok and carry on doing what you were doing? No you’d see him as a monster that’s unsafe to be in public. The guy on the street hasn’t had the time to manipulate you.

I look back now on my past and cringe at how stupid I was but that’s unkind to me you shouldn’t think less of yourself for not seeing. Unfortunately thousands of others have fallen for their trap and thought exactly the same as you when the police notes came through the door or someone pointed out what was going on. You’re not alone with what you’re thinking be kinder to yourself. When I look back and cringe I think about what I would’ve said to past me and comfort myself its like looking at your inner child x

[Author]

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