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    • #9804
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Getting divorced for unreasonable behaviour after fleeing in order not to get slaughtered by the husband ….
      The family court is insane.
      These laws promote abuse.
      Even considering unreasonable behaviour for a victim who saves their life is abuse in itself.
      It underpins patriarchy.
      The family court supports patriarchic abuse of women and children.
      The family court has no mercy on the rivers of tears women cry.
      It is unreasonable behaviour to flee an abusive husband, to bring oneself to safety, to escape from being slaughtered.
      That is what I should have done:
      I should have humbled myself, got on my knees and put my head down, waiting for the final b**w, probably give him a b******b before he does the deadly hit.
      That would have been the right thing to do, he?
      Which stupid people decide these idiotic laws?
      Detached rich politicians, I do not feel represented by you!!!!!
      Detached rich politicians, your laws promote the abuse of women!!!
      I will never shut up, never!!!
      I escaped death!!
      And I got punished for escaping death!!!
      The divorce lawas are old, rigid, outdated, stupid, backwards!!!
      The family court does not even know how to deal with abused women, this is how undeveloped they are!
      Get a grip, you detached politicians and modernise these stupid laws and send the judges for some education!

    • #9815

      Hi Ayanna. I share some of the frustration you are expressing about the family court system. It does need reforming.

      I am not sure where you are in the divorce process. I am also being divorced on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. I should have divorced him but i have been too traumatised to start the paper work so he got in first. He has made up ridiculous reasons for divorcing me – all lies.
      Do you want out of the marriage ? I am assuming you do. I was told by my solicitor that the grounds for divorce dont really matter and that in the end its just a formality. It wont change how things are divided etc . I have formally denighed the unreasonable behaviour but have not contested the divorce.
      I know it is a huge slap in the face to have fleeing for your life described as unreasonable behaviour but the courts should be able to see through it. Did you get a Non MoL this is normally also sited on the paper work – any judge should be able to read between the lines.
      Save yourself the heart ache if you can – he is an abusive man he is bound to say stupid things. Try to let it go, though it is terrible. what he says is of no consequence it can not effect you in any way. So protect yourself emotionally from his stupidness. In the end when it is over we will both be FREE!!!!
      Sending you hugs because I know its hard and much easier said than done !

    • #9820
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      Having been through this too I can also identify there is little or no sympathy at all for victims even with screens, support workers with you and security guards I have been there.

      I think that sadly the judges hear it so much that they become desensitized to it I guess not everyone is telling the truth too when the testify it amazed me how there is no punishment apparently for being caught lying under oath.

      You know you did what was right for you as I do and so many others of us. I just hope its over soon and you can be rid of him.

      Even my solicitor and barrister said the law is wrong but for some reason even now they have brought in these emotional abuse laws nothing seems to be changing.

    • #9824
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey HUn

      Its so unfair how we get treated, talk about it ,it does help, will try to guide u , support is all i can offer , as some one said tome yesterday , system is wrong but we have to remain strong and keep speaking up i feel same as u

    • #9860
      Ayanna
      Participant

      And I wonder what is wrong with a judge that makes the abuser interview the victim in the family court. That is completely out of order and there is no law against it. Do they get a kick out of further abusing victims???
      I hope someone from Downing Street reads this, but no, they would not bother.

    • #9876
      Sadandconfused
      Participant

      The other end of it is that they try to chuck the thing out so that the victim isn’t ‘upset’ further but then that means that the abuse isn’t acknowledged as being half as bad as it was.

      The system is so badly floored and in favor it seems of giving the benefit of the doubt to men who run campaigns of terror against women and children that they are supposed to love its appalling.

    • #9915
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Even with evidence from criminal court the family court remains ignorant. What I do not understand is that the courts do not share information when it comes to any form of abuse. Information sharing is now vital between social services and health services in abuse cases. The courts are ignorant to this. They are so backwards that it hurts.

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