Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #134896
      Hazydayz
      Participant

      Having woken up to the situation I was in a long time ago now it seems… All the damage that follows never seems to go away, why? Being in an abusive situation, another horror was finding myself deeply in debt because of who I married and his total lack of responsibility to financial security. Thinking the problems had been resolved I now find the situation has resurfaced and I’m left now thinking…am I going to end up bankrupt because of all that happened? Anyone know this feeling?

    • #134897
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes, my ex was careless and irresponsible with money. I think he was reckless perhaps thinking debt would keep us together. Or perhaps he simply didn’t care but it took me a while to untangle myself from his theft and debt. Just take baby steps. Citizens Advice were good and there’s a great organisation called Surviving Economic Abuse.

      • #136709
        Hazydayz
        Participant

        Thankyou for your reply KIP and the information,
        I just found it. Sorry I’m just replying now. I have been off here for a few weeks. Having an awful time. I have had a terrible time with my abusive husband because I have been trying to support my daughters. Their dad, my ex husband, just died (detail removed by moderator), it’s affected me too, more than I expected? Hope your New Year is a good one. 💞

      • #136719
        KIP.
        Participant

        So sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your daughters. It’s going to be painful. No doubt your abuser will use this to cause further distress. They see vulnerability as a weakness and a chance to attack more so keep him at a distance x be kind to yourself x

    • #134902
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Yes! Having finally dwindled through all of my savings and maxed out my overdraft and credit cards, I’m struggling to pay for basic bills yet he’s still arguing he only pays a measly amount of ‘rent’ as he calls it (and to be honest he doesn’t think he even owes that and I should be grateful for anything he gives me) doesn’t buy food, has never paid for a thing for our shared child and doesn’t see why he should pay anything for childcare when we both work full time. I’m getting texts from him about his overdraft and I’m like join the club, but he can still go out, but drugs and alcohol, go to the cinema etc all whilst I’m struggling to buy food…I’m like do I need to go bankrupt here?! Sorry to rant lol xx

      • #136710
        Hazydayz
        Participant

        Hi Banana boat. Thanks for your reply, sorry mines taken a while. Not been here for a few weeks. Hope your New year is a good one. 💞

    • #135027
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Yes, this is awful. I had it for years.

      Somewhere a long the line I heard of the ‘starve you out’ technique which abusers use. Which is basically what it says on the tin, a technique also used in warfare, believe it or not.

      It is a horrible thing to do to a mother and epseically in the last lock downs, like you Ban.boat. I had to lean on credit cards to get through as I wasn’t able to work and schools shut down.

      The law sometimes can be used usefully. And justly.

      Though exhausted currently it is the first time in nearly ten years I won’t e worrying about the gas bill.

      I’m looking forward also to the judgement on the ESA high court thing.
      As many on here already know we never got the twenty pound uplift in covid and should be in line for a backpayment now, which I’m sure will be a lifeline for many of us.

      • #136711
        Hazydayz
        Participant

        Hello Anonymous, thankyou for the reply. Sorry, I only just found it. I haven’t been here for a while. I’m sorry you have had a terrible time of it in the past financially. This year a better year financially I hope. So I’m wishing you a Happy & debt free New year. 💞

    • #135028
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      the phrase ‘you can’t keep a good woman down’ springs to mind..

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content