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If so I put a post a couple of months ago about I found a drug packet. I suspected my partner.
I’ve been monitoring and watching but nothing obvious. Still mood swings and low mood and in bed a day after a late night out.
But now he has stayed out all night a few times. Goes off the radar past early hours. I really don’t believe it’s another woman it doesn’t feel that way. When he gets back around midday he’s still quite awake then it’s more sleepiness the next day and moody.
Does this ring anybells.
He still totally denies taking anything but I just have this feeling.
But he thinks I’m paranoid because of my previous DV relationship has made me this way. -
Hey Ariel, trust your gut feeling as it is telling you that something is wrong. You are not paranoid and him using your past relationship is another red flag.
Whether he is seeing someone else or taking drugs or doing whatever he feels like when he goes missing… he isn’t being honest with you… if he told you he was out taking drugs then you would have a choice as to whether to stay with him or not. Same if he was out with a woman… either way, in a relationship he should be open.. as he isn’t open you don’t know where or with whom he has been.
Massive hugs
HFH ❤️ -
Hi Ariel, mine was an addict. Some patterns I noticed in him included
– getting excited about a day of the week (the days he’d use),
– having no appetite/ not eating after taking it
– then binging on sweet stuff the following day,
– when on it he’d talk non stop and initially I thought he was in a good mood but noticed he didn’t listen to anyone just chattered on and on,
– two days after he’d be depressed so for example if he took coke on Friday, he’d be depressed on the Sunday evening & super tired, it was a rolling cycle so he’d then use again say mon/tues and round it went
– being secretive about money – drugs aren’t cheap!
– texts from dealers early evening and all weekend usually in some kind of stupid kind of code like (detail removed by moderator)
– pupils being enlarged even hours later
– secretive about his wallet, a lot of men’s wallets have (detail removed by moderator), always found the empty packets in there
– if we went out he’d make random stops claiming it was for work or he had to nip outside the supermarket (all these were to pick up his drugs and use the family as cover)The best description I can give is similar to what you’re seeing and that’s they get excited, go out all night without a second thought of you, come back early morning, crash then suffer a come down.
But like above, irrespective of whether your chap is abusing drugs or has another woman the trust is damaged, he doesn’t appear to care he’s hurting yourself and are you happy? If he did turn round and say yeah I’m taking drugs – what would you do/say? xx
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I had issues with him and family members and keeping house free of drugs. It was “forgotten” when courting and found out about it later after I had kids. This was highly stressful time. If it was not drugs it was drinking. I got laughed at for having this no drug attitude and have no doubt he is back onto it now (I’ve left). Certainly rest of family was. I am sure his workplace was too.
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Hi Ariel
You’re not paranoid it’s classic behaviour to me, and I experienced, moods up and down, staying out, and that gut feeling you know something is off.
Absolutely what the other lovely ladies have all said.
He will be preoccupied and secretive wanting to go out, might go out at unusual hours.
Comes home strange times if at all, will be chatty.
A day or two later moods and unreasonable.
Then it’ll start again, but you’ll be kept in the dark, it’s an affair but with chemicals or alcohol, well that’s my description.
Addiction does not stop, it switches, food, drink, drugs it’s a cycle in itself.
CB X
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I would say you are correct. My partner misuses substances and in the past has disappeared for hours or days at a time. Once even was AWOL over Christmas. What I have learned is that whenever my gut instinct has kicked in it has emerged afterwards that I was right. The mood swings, the lack of accountability and the sad fact that they will do literally anything to get the money (except get a job it seems!).
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Yes! Well there has been accusations of money going missing from (detail removed by Moderator). He says he would never and how can I think that of him.
But process of elimination leads his way.
I keep breaking up with him because of the staying out and then I get weak and beg for him to come back and we can work it out.
I’m so tired of it but I can’t find the strength because I love him and want him to be who he was.
Apparently he was a good worker and treated his partner before. His friends and family have told me all this.
They think I’m too soft for him so he’s got lazy and not bothering. -
Money does not just go missing. He stole it to get what he wanted. Been there – they absolutely deny it. I’ve raised a fraud case for missing money on my credit card only for the bank to (detail removed by moderator) for me to check if it was my partner or not. He had remembered my pin from watching me take money out previously.
Stick with your instincts, they won’t let you down.
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