This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #86954
     Rainbowdrop 
    Participant

    Hiya, I’m new to here and dont really know what to wright, is what’s been going on emotional abuse?
    I told my ex partner (detail removed by moderator) weeks ago it was over and I was looking for somewhere elce to live as I could not tolerate the way he speaks to me in front of my (age removed by moderator) yr old (he thinks she cant here him!) Being told over the last few months if I say something he doesn’t agree with to shut th f**K UP and if I dont like it then move out (he owns the house)
    He has always had anger issues and a sharp tinge but you now how it is you think you can help them….(detail removed by moderator) yrs down the line still the same.
    We have/had a volatile relationship for most of this time he brings out in me someone who I have never been! He accuses me of shagging someone elce if I go out, this couldn’t be more further from the truth, I just laugh at him because I now can not be bothered with him anymore. He slags my family down even threatened my sister to me the other day saying if she dont give me the money back I’ll do something but I wont get my hands dirty.
    Anyway I know iv rambled on a bit.
    Lots of things have been said and done in those (detail removed by moderator) years, I cant say iv not retaliated with words because why should I let him talk to me like that and him not get anything back.
    I’m concerned about my (age removed by moderator) yr old she is getting more aggressive toward me and some of the things she says is what comes out of his mouth but not the swearing.
    Sorry to rant or if this doesnt make sense x

  • #86956
     upsidedownandinsideout 
    Participant

    Hi

    That sounds very familiar – feeling like it brought the worst out in you. It does sound like his behaviour is abusive, and of course you reacted to it – especially given you have a child to think about.

    If there’s a particular thing you said that seems bad – think about why you said it. Yes, it might have been a terrible thing to say to someone who wants to watch emmerdale when you want to eastenders. But when you are reacting to being sworn at, shouted at, threatened and accused of things you didn’t do, all in front of your child, then it’s an understandable reaction to his behaviour.

  • #86966
     Rainbowdrop 
    Participant

    That’s the thing I can just walk in the door after work sometimes and just starts, usually he has had a drink, bearing in mind I get in 30 minuits after school has finished. I also have 2 more children/young adults who have just turned (detail removed by moderator) they have heard it all through the years too.
    When I made my final decision he had pushed my son in anger after he had told me something he had done I saw red and went for him.

  • #87036
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Rainbowdrop

    Welcome to the forum.

    It can be very distressing when you start seeing your children imitating your abusers behaviour towards you.

    You can always contact the helpline to discuss your housing options as it sounds like you need to move out as soon as possible. You can also get local support from the domestic abuse charity in your area, it sounds like things are escalating and i would encourage you to get as much support as possible to leave safely with your children.

    Take care and keep posting

    Lisa

  • #87059
     Rainbowdrop 
    Participant

    Hi lisa

    I have spoken to my local womans aid and have arranged a meeting, I’m hoping I dont get well where are you going question!
    I have a plan in place and it’s happening soon.
    Starting to get very anxious about it but I am doing it! He has been threatening to take me to court over my youngest I’m hoping he will sit and talk rationally with out him trying to tell me what’s going to happen…..here’s hopeing

  • #87068
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi Rainbowdrop, welcome to the forum. Your situation sounds so much like my own was. It’s uncanny how they all seem to sing from the same song sheet during and after we leave. My local WA helped me get a house. I remember my very first visit I was offered a place there and then but I wasnt ready, I’d have been running around like a headless chicken😊 the fear of not knowing what the future holds keeps many of us there so much longer if we’d known just what’s on the other side. Wrll what’s on the other side depends on each and everyone of us. Fir me it’s peace and quiet. Knowing I can come and go as I please, not be accused of sh..ging All and sundry, male and female mind! He never said i couldn’t do out, just so long as he didn’t find out who i was sha..ing. his insecurities are huge, ice only just seen the tip of the iceberg. I have my own wee place just now through WA, just trying to decide what to do next which is best for me!
    Well done in posting, it takes courage to do even THAT. Keep posting and reading others posts, knowledge is power and we’re your very own support.
    Love and light IWMB 💞💞

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