Is it abuse ?

[Dhzzbra]

Hi everyone. Sorry for my english mistakes
Im trying my best.
So me and my husband together years ago. We got kids. Many many time our realitonship broken down. Actually it was never good just for weeks or months. He did cheat on me many time,abused me with his words push me down. If ever i smile he wondering something is there i cant let it be so he cut my day makes me sad. Cant even actually tell you who he is bcoz in one minute he abusing me in the other minute he telling me loves me and he will kill his self if i leave him. So ,so many things happened what i just cant write down here. Many time i try to leave him but i was not strong enough. Always found excuses for my self .
This year (detail removed by moderator) i gave him divorce and told him to leave but he didnt. He start crying and doing drama for 2 months steessing me over and my kids till i gave him again new chance. How silly i am. Again not working anything. I cant work. If i go to work after 2 days he cut me off that he not gonna look after the kids etc. Everytime he do this. 3-4 time i go back to work and after 2-3 days he cut me off. He is controlling in the money also. Not giving me or have to use joint account where he watching what and how much i spend while his earning very good. Cant go to gym or just simple for running outside bcoz he calling me where i am what i do who i am with. Cant have friends and he dont likes my family too. Bcoz of this issues i have no work no friends ( only on social media ) and no life. I wake up at 7am drop kids to school ( 2min walk away and sometime he call me in this time too) then i go clean the house, cooking etc pick up the kids. Then he come have to feed him serve him even with water. And end of the day when im very tired he still want to do sex. I dont i really disguss from him. But he pushing me, steessing me until i say ok do it and let me sleep after. Feel like im no one just a slave. Only my kida can makes me happy nothing else i have. Cant breath anymore without he notice it and maybe if u do mistake while that also he gonna blame me why even im alive . Im thinking to leave but not easy bcoz of the money issue. Need advice please.
Regard : hopeless mom.

[dancing in the rain]

You need to leave! Call the helpline about advice when you can safely. This is abusive behaviour, definitely. Keep posting x*x

[Dhzzbra]

Thank you, i will.

[KIP.]

Contact your local women’s aid who will help you with housing or refuge and claiming benefits. He’s extremely abusive and sexually assaulting or raping you. Sex should be given freely without coercion or fear. Sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture. These men are dangerous when they think we are leaving them so don’t tell him. Plan your safe exit with women’s aid without his knowledge.

[KIP.]

Please don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for x

[Dhzzbra]

Yes i try to call today the helpline but the line was busy. I left voicemail. I hope we can get support soon 🙁 thank you everyone

[Sylphy]

Hi
I am scared to call the number because i cant say tthese things out loud. But i am scared of my wife too.  (detail removed by moderator)was a repeat of so many other nights. I didnt get to sleep till 4am… everything was my fault again. I forgot to (detail removed by moderator)… so she shouted at me when i popped in to see her at work then came home in a mood after work too. I wasnt able to give her her tea that i cooked as a surprise for her because she was banging everything and shouting and slamming everything. When she left the house (detail removed by moderator) (that she does whenever she is like this) and got in her car i locked the door behind her because i was afraid. I am already a domestic abuse survivor and when she gets like this it takes me right back there. She knows my past. I am trapped. We have no kids but we are married and we are meant to be buying a house together. I am desperate for this to work otherwise i will never have a family of my own. I dont know what to do because this fuels and creates my depression and anxiety and makes me suicidal. I am just so scared all the time. She throws my stuff around and sometimes breaks my stuff.. and then shouts at me saying i choose my stuff over her…. i am very very confused and i dont feel alive at the moment…..

[Escapee]

When you call the support numbers, they don’t need you to go into detail. I find it immensely hard to talk about what happened in my relationship and nobody has ever pushed me.

Sylphy – you also have another choice of support…..National LGBT Domestic violence helpline – 0300 999 5428 http://www.galop.org.uk

Good luck ladies xx

[Author]

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