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I’m new to the forum, been with my partner many, many years. I was a child in a home full of domestic violence emotional and physical. It damaged me but I have worked hard to survive and heal. I have had 2 close losses this year, they have hit me deeply. My partner is unable to offer empathy, he likes to be right, he cant tolerate feeling criticism, he never says sorry or I love you, he undermines me. He doesn’t listen or take any notice of me, I don’t think he knows me. I don’t feel any emotional support or connection. He will deny doing things I know he’s done. I feel like I have withered away, I have been to therapy, read self help books but I have no more to give. Everyone else thinks he’s a great man and sometimes things are good.. I often think about leaving. I am afraid. I want to feel happy and content. I still question myself about whether his behaviour is acceptable….
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Hi Wavesripple,
Welcome to the forum. I hope that posting here and sharing support help you gain more understanding and clarity about your situation.
It’s so common for women to question whether what’s happening is abuse, it can be really hard to see while you’re in it. That’s complicated by abusers being “nice” sometimes and the public face that everyone else sees, both of which you’ve mentioned. What you’ve described is emotional abuse and a way of treating you that is not acceptable. It doesn’t sound like he allows any space for you to exist. I’m so sorry to read about your losses, you deserve to be supported in your grief and a non-abusive partner would want to make sure your needs are being met.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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