Hi Surfergirl,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting to share your situation with us.
It can be really difficult to see and define the abuse while it’s happening, it’s a gradual process and you’re not alone in this. I hope that being on this forum and sharing support with other women helps you feel more solid in your understanding of abuse and the tactics he’s using. The way that his behaviour makes you feel is important. Constantly being on his phone or a games console in the way you describe is dismissive, disrespectful, and entitled, and could definitely be part of a pattern of abuse.
If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (8am – 6pm weekdays and 10am – 6pm weekends/bank holidays). They won’t tell you what to do but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
(Forum Moderator)