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    • #95799
      ineedtobemeagain
      Participant

      Hi. I’m new and feeling nervous and apologise for the long post!
      I have been with my partner for (detail removed by moderator) years. Things have never been straight forward. But I loved him. Fast forward a few years… my family hate him. My daughter left home because of him. He pays nothing towards household bills or rent and never admits blame. It’s always someone else’s fault Yet I’m still here! We have a child together and that makes things so much harder. He comes across as this really nice guy and to be fair he has been a great hands on dad. Tho his two older children from previous do not want to know him. But, again that’s not his fault. He blames his ex for turning them against him. He always plays the “poor me” card. I have recently also found out he had an affair. Which has absolutely broke my soul. But he’s so casual about it. There’s no remorse. He just doesn’t talk about it and thinks we can just sweep it under the carpet. when I have also been told by him, “that if I hadn’t destroyed us. Then there would of been no her” really?? So It’s my fault I was cheated on?? 😥 I know if it wasn’t for our child. I’d be long gone. But I feel stuck. He refuses to leave, telling me “I can go, but our child stays with him” and that it would be my fault for splitting the family up! I want to just get our child and leave. Go back to my family. But how? He would surely kick off and try and stop me and he knows I do not have the finances to find somewhere else to live. Then I feel guilty. Because our child is still quite young and thinks his dad is great! But I honestly think it’s because my partner can still control our child.
      Do I tell my partner I seriously want him to leave, or I’m leaving? Can he stop me from taking our child with me? Of course I would never stop our child from spending time with dad. But I also need my child with me. I just need out. I need to be the old me again. I need to find myself and be happy. Then I will be the best I can be. I just feel he can do what he likes, when he likes and still call all the shots. It doesn’t matter how I feel as I’ve bought it all on myself! 😥

    • #95812
      diymum@1
      Participant

      you could leave or get him out of the house. as far as your child you can leave stop contact and let him take you to court at most he would get consecutive weekends. if you can prove he has been emotionally abusive he will get less.xx cheating is abuse and also blaming you is gas lighting. threats. being in control. manipulating your child xx

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